Category: General Interest

UPDATE!! A Mini-Podathon For Kristine


Nobody wants to get the big C, but here we are again. Kristine Levine is a fan favorite of our little community, and she’s a self described financial train wreck. It’s an indictment of American health care that if/when we get sick we can face financial disaster.

When Andy Andrist was diagnosed we felt compelled to try to help and the only idea we had was a marathon live-streamed we dubbed podathon. When people heard about Kristine’s diagnosis it was suggested we do it again. We don’t want to get in the habit of doing this every time someone gets sick, but Kristine means so much to so many of us, we feel like we need to do something.

If you want to help NOW, there is a Go Fund Me page that was set up by her friend Kat, If she reaches her goal before we get organized we won’t have to do a 12 hour pod, so pitch in and spare us another dreadfully bad show.

If not, we will be doing a 12-hour show on Saturday, August 20th, 2022 starting at 8:00am Eastern time zone, for the benefit of our friends in the UK. YOU CAN HELP make this show a little less insufferable by donating 15 minutes of your time to make an appearance, tell a joke, sing a song or just rant about how the big C suck and how much you love Kristine.

The point here is to get the Go Fund Me to its goal and beyond. Please help us help Kristine. I can’t promise that this will be the last time we ask you to help a friend but this is the last one these will ever do and 15 minutes of your time can be a really big. help. It’s a Sunday! You were probably just going to waste 15 minutes on social media at some point anyway, why not use it for a good cause?

Let us know you’re in by writing to

Kristine Levine is an actress, known for Portlandia (2011), Doug Stanhope’s the Unbookables (2012) and Welcome to Bridgetown (2015). See full bio »

Something To Say – Original music by Matt Nappo

This song was written and recorded in a 30 minute setting after my morning show, Coffee with the Dog, I was discussing poetry, my guest on the podcast the night before, the differences between lyrics and poetry and my young friend Davey, who write a lot of poetry. There is some undeniable influence of Bob Dylan at play here, but also some nods to Miska Shubaly, and a bit of Tom Waitts.

Something to Say

I’ve got something to say to no one
Or anyone who might care
Like a song that’s never been written
But I know it exists somewhere

I’ve been dusting off my old memories
And wrestling’ with my denial
Lost in the doubts of creation
Reluctantly forcing a smile

I’m waking up from a slumber
Wondering why I’m still here
When all of my friends have departed
For a destination I fear

So I’m putting my faith in you
And I’m putting my faith in us

I have something to say to my brother
And the sister I never knew
All the questions remain for my mother
Doubting I heard what was true

I’ve been writing unanswered letters
To someone I can’t bear to recall
Cowardly clinging to courage
As if that makes sense at all

Is each day a curse or a blessing
Or a chance for redemption and peace
A hostage who built his own prison
Impatiently waits for release

So I’m putting my faith in you
And I’m putting my faith in us

Why am I telling you this
What am I hoping to gain
Maybe I’m hoping that you
Might be willing to share in my pain

I’ve got something to say to clergy
And their God or whatever that is
That allows for such uncertain illusion
That compels me to  act like this

Desperately searching for meaning
Where’s there’s no meaning at all
Knowing it doesn’t matter
If I should jump or I fall 

And if I’m still here tomorrow
Maybe let’s do this again
I really just want to say thank you
Cause everyone needs a friend

So I’m putting my faith in you
And I’m putting my faith in us

Why Joe Rogan Is Still Full Of Shit

Racism is forgivable if you admit, own it, and learn to unlearn it.

Joe Rogan has a target on his back. Enemies are searching through his entire lifetime looking for stuff to use to bring him down. Unfortunately for him, there is a lot of ammo both already discovered and waiting to be discovered that will serve to keep him putting out “apology” or “explanation” videos for the foreseeable future.

I was a racist. I wan not born a racist. Nobody ever is. In a rare credit to my parents, I didn’t learn it from them. My parents were fucked up in a lot of ways, but racism isn’t one of them. In fact, my father may have been the best example I ever had of how to not be racist. He couldn’t stop me from learning it from the kids on the street and other kids parents though. I had to unlearn racism and it’s a work in process.  Joe Rogan, in his “explanation” videos claims he never was racist. Sorry Joe, it takes one to know one. You were, and if you can’t admit it, you still are.

There’s been a lot of bluster about Rogan’s use of “the N-word”. Rogan says he’s learned that there is no context that caucasian person can ever use that word. I disagree but I don’t feel the need to purposely use it here. The bigger issue, the one that is largely ignored in the dialogue, is comparing a black neighborhood to Planet Of The Apes. there is NO CONTEXT, or explaining that away as not being racist with all the ugly spirit of racism in its most disgusting ideology.

I talk about forgiveness a lot. It’s something that  I practice and work hard at. I do believe racism  can and should be forgiven, if we own it, admit to it and learn how to unlearn it on purpose. Rogan is still in denial, and therefore has not earned any forgiveness yet. He maintains that he never had any racist intent in his heart. DENIAL!

To be clear, I have had many black, asian, hispanic, and native friends my entire life, before, during and after the time I was learning racism on the streets of Long Island and in central Florida. Having friends and people you love of other races does NOT negate racism.

Rogan and people who are standing loyal to him in this moment are missing what Rogan claimed to be “a teachable moment”. Like a politician that has consulted a high-priced PR consultant, Rogan has tried to diffuse the situation by getting out front with an “apology” that accepts ZERO responsibility, and denies the truth. That will ensure that the target he wears on his back will remain firmly in place and his enemies will continue to look for and find damning evidence.

The deal with Spotify that Rogan signed has made him too big to be canceled. he doesn’t need to rely on any platform and can platform himself with a small fraction of his wealth. The only concern for him personally is how much time and energy he will have to dedicate to being on the perpetual defensive.

I’m not Joe Rogan’s enemy. I don’t want him canceled. censored or taken down and won’t support any effort to do that. Nothing he says or does will have a direct effect on my life and he should have all the rights any of us have to free expression. I do wish that he, as a person with enormous influence and reach, would be more truthful and responsible. He is a very visible target and  has the potential to bring important issues to provoke real dialogue. It would be a tragedy to waste that power on denial, defensiveness and dishonesty.


Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling stops by Coffee with the Dog

On Groundhog’s day Feb 2, 2022, the legendary Jackie “The Joke Man” martling stopped by Coffee witgh the dog for an inspiring and humorous chat about talk about his life in comedy, his book Bow To Stren, his new podcast with Peter Bales called Standup Memories. Howard Stern was talked about but only as it relates to Jackie’s story. This was not a Stuttering John bash Howard session.
Standup MemoriesPremieres Groundhog Day Feb 2nd 2022

dial (516) 922-WINE !


matt nappo 0:00
Jackie the joke man martling joins me for a coffee with the dog on this episode of the mind dog TV podcast.

Legendary in the field of stand up comedy and a Long Island legend and part of the part of a similar culture to where I grew up in and I’ve got a podcast as I mentioned, that is launching today or tonight at 7pm Eastern Time, called stand up memories. The book is called bow to stern. It’s a memoir of his incredible life ladies and gentlemen, please open your ears open your minds and help me welcome in Jackie the joke man martling to the mind duck coffee with a dog show. Jackie Welcome.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:05
How you doing? Oh, the first thing I’m trying to do is to get this thing to go to full screen. And I know nothing about this. And it makes me crazy. So I guess I’m just gonna have to go with that. Hi.

matt nappo 1:17
I hate doing techie.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:19
You know, every time I go to touch something, it’s different. So is there a is there a

matt nappo 1:27
there’s a I guess you can make your browser full screen. I’m not sure what, whether you’re on a computer or a tablet or when

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:33
I’m on an iPad. And it’s always come up full screen before every time I’ve ever done this. So, ah,

matt nappo 1:42
can you deal with it? Because we look really good. I mean, it

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:46
doesn’t matter as long as so in other words, you’re not seeing a whole bunch of garbage on the left. I’m just seeing that.

matt nappo 1:51
Now. We’re not seeing a whole bunch of garbage. Is this somebody sitting at the desk behind you? Is that a puppet?

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:56
That is a Rodney Dangerfield doll. That’s my good luck charm.

matt nappo 2:01
I kind of was a little creepy.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 2:05
Yeah, you know, it’s weird if there’s ever a mannequin, or a doll like that of any kind in a room or in somebody’s backyard. It’s really weird how when you walk into the room, you don’t play to it. But there’s an awareness, right? Like after I do these interviews a lot of times so on my desk, and I walk in i i go to say, Good morning, which is after seven or eight years, you should think they get you so so it’s nice to meet you have to ask and I was singing your praises. I said don’t sing his praise. I didn’t even meet the guy yet. I have no idea who he is. But it’s nice to meet you. And Jeff gives you very high a high regard.

matt nappo 2:46
But He’s crazy. He’s a liar. Don’t believe a word. He says I’m a rotten person. But

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 2:51
Who said anything about believing? Now? Where am I talking to?

matt nappo 2:55
Where? I’m in Sure I’m sure I’m Long Island, New York,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 3:02
because I’m hearing a twinge of some kind of action didn’t sound like Long Island.

matt nappo 3:06
Um, well, that’s unusual, because usually people spot me right away as long as but to your point. I mentioned it this morning there. Because we have a lot of people in England in in the UK and Wales and all over the world and in the western part of the United States. They think of Long Island is one thing, but your upbringing on Long Island is very different from mine. You are North Shore. Nassau County, I’m South Shore, Suffolk County, those are really two different worlds and two

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 3:39
completely different worlds. You know, when I went to Michigan State, they everybody thought that Long Island was completely covered with pavement. Right and I bring my roommate out and he’s like, wow, this is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. You know, it’s a it’s a gorgeous place Long Island.

matt nappo 3:55
Right. And I’m on the North Shore now out in Shoreham. And it’s a completely different culture again, from both of those where you live like that Sagamore Hill area, which was which was beautiful and, and the South Shore which is kind of Brooklyn.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 4:10
Right. You know, my my great grandfather actually ran Sagamore Hill.

matt nappo 4:14
Right. I read your entire book yesterday. You read it entire book in one day.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 4:20
I want to send it up. I thought you’re gonna read it. Wait, where’d you come from on South Shore?

matt nappo 4:25
Linden Harris copake area, right on the border of Lindenhurst and Kopec. So low. Yeah, whoa, whoa, read. But yeah, so let’s, if you I know we want to talk about the podcast. We could start with the book because there’s some fascinating stuff in there.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 4:42
Let me just say, these aren’t even really plugged, especially since you say you’ve got some stuff overseas. I’m currently working on a podcast with a guy from Cork, Ireland. And I’m doing stuff with a couple of guys from the UK. So I just want to tell people my email And I really do answer every email is joke J Okay, e la And I do all shows, I guess, being on this as proof, I’m teasing. But I answer all emails and I’m I especially international I’d love to do anything. Do you know I’m this close to one foot in the grave so I want to get over here while I still can’t. Alright, that’s the end of my plug. What self promotion whatever you call it, right?

matt nappo 5:29
Well, we put the link in the description for your email as well. And we do have a English show host actually in the chat room right now.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 5:37
Oh, that’s cool. Now, are you a comic? Are you a broadcaster? Are you a what?

matt nappo 5:42
I’m an I’m just a guy. I’m just a guy I wouldn’t been a musician like like you for since probably as long as my entire life seven years old did my first paying gig it’s seven years

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 5:55
like around Long Island like yeah, Banjo when

matt nappo 6:00
I started in cover bands, obviously around Long Island then did like a very similar situation to you when I had went out west to be to University and did some touring out there, open for lots of classic rock acts and all that kind of stuff pursued, the record deals got signed to a record deal. You know, that kind of stuff that never really panned out, then went back to playing cover bands. Now I play in in mostly original band that plays covers here on Long Island but gigging constantly, you know, playing this South Shore beaches and all that kind of stuff. So we’re just

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 6:35
so fun. You know, it’s so funny. You say, Well, I had a record deal, but we didn’t get anywhere. I can’t tell tell you how envious I am. Because I broke my chops for a long time and never got close to a record deal. Because I wasn’t, you know, writing anything that anybody else would want to hear. But you couldn’t have told me that.

matt nappo 6:51
Right? But it those times was so different in music and everything. And it’s the record company, the record industry was so different. So wasn’t what we did was not something that ever be envious.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 7:05
It is. It’s never not interesting. I can’t stop reading about the 50s and the 60s and the mobs and the craziness. I got so many, you know, when I was in at the end of high school, I mean, I was I was salivating for the young rascals. And now those guys are my friends. You know, I still can’t I still can’t wrap my head around that. You know, I mean, it’s interesting stuff. Yeah, the

matt nappo 7:28
part in the book about Leslie West, I get that you were kind of starstruck by him. I remember seeing him as a teenager at UBS ot days you remember that one?

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 7:40
You be UBS? It

matt nappo 7:42
was a Long Island Club. It was on Sunrise Highway.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 7:46
Guys the name but you know, in those days, the South Shore might as well been Pluto. Right? You know, we’ve got trunk locally, and then defied our ride home. And then in the 70s, our bands played I think, massive people was as far south as we gotten. That was a straight shot. It wasn’t towards the city or towards you know, yeah. And to be careful, you know,

matt nappo 8:06
yeah, I get it. And so, but I did want to talk about there’s so much in the book I want to talk about, but we only have an hour here. But the first it starts with this whole idea that you might be somehow related to

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 8:21
we finally we finally got DNA. And I’m not gonna go too much into it. But the way they found out that Jefferson had sired kids with Sally Hemings, his African American slave was he didn’t have any kids himself. And his father only had him so that we had, they had to go to his grandfather and his grandfather’s brother, and then take the DNA down the line from that night. And that’s the route we wound up taking, not going to Roosevelt’s father, but his father’s brothers, kids and all the way down to, uh, Roosevelt in Texas, and finally found DNA and it didn’t match. But the thing is, in those days, if there was a rumor, there was a rumor, there’s no way anybody was proven anything. And it was it was my great grandfather, and he worked at Sagamore Hill for years. And my grandmother was his oldest daughter, and eight kids. And he went to Washington with Teddy, and then stay there until, you know, 1916 You know, I mean, even, you know, long after Teddy had left. But recently, something I found, which I’ll send you is the letters that Teddy wrote to my great grandfather telling him I need you in Washington. And him saying, Well, I can’t come right now. I can come in a month, which is a beginning. Roosevelt. They made Roosevelt presidents because McKinley died. So Roosevelt ran to Washington, and he wrote to my great grandfather and said, Frank, I need you down here. You know, I’m president, and he said, Well, Mr. President, I’ll get Then what can I say? What? If that’s not proof that he’s my relative? You got to read out, you got to see how it reads it reads from 1900. Like, it is not in my best interest to come now. However, in a month, it shall be in my best interest. I’ll email you. You’ll go crazy. So always easily proud found that it’s not true. So what are you?

matt nappo 10:22
What are you disappointed to find out that came back? No, because

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 10:25
because the cell could have been some monkey monkey business along the way, you know, everybody fooled around with everybody. And all it took was, you know, one guy making a mistake or one woman stepping out, and that would have broke the chain. So, you know, I’m not my my cousin, John Hammonds, the town historian, and he absolutely is, I mean, the way it lines up. I mean, there’s no reason for a kid to be born in Maine, and show up 25 years later, working for the governor of the New York City in his mansion, you know, I just, you know, just knock on the door and say, Hi, Mr. Vanderbilt, you need any help you

matt nappo 11:04
get it. So, in preparation for this Mike’s in who works for the production company that that is doing a podcast tonight that premiering tonight called stand up memories and let me bring that up for people. Now. He we were discussing you and I said I could swear that Jackie got to start at a place called Richard M. Dixon’s White House. And he’s like, really, I never heard of that place. I was like, You never heard you’re from Long Island. And you don’t know Richard M. Dixon. You know,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 11:33
it’s what there’s so many things that when you get past. I mean, you go up to a kid and say, Hey, did you ever see Jay Leno? And they’ll say, Jay Leno, who’s that? Not even who’s Johnny Carson? Like, who’s Jay Leno? You got to realize this stuff floats away. It’s funny. I have a gig on February 18. That my father’s what used to be, you must have heard my father’s place and 100 times. So so. So epi moved. He’s still the exact same guy. He moved to the Roslyn hotel, and recently lost the gig. But I just got booked there with the new Booker and we’re talking about him and I was telling them that EPI is the reason I’m a comedian because my band was playing at my father’s place. And epi so cheap. It was a big deal for our little group to play at my father’s place. So we went for our soundcheck and epi had booked the gong show auditions for Channel Seven TV and we couldn’t do our soundcheck. So I’m watching The Gong Show auditions and I see this guy’s that I’m funnier than this guy. And after I said, Hey, how’d you get to be a comic? He said, I had cards printed up. And he showed me his card. And he said, You know what, let me stay around. And he watched my band. He said, Man, you are so funny. Why don’t you come over and rich in Dixon’s White House in so I went to Dixon’s and Eddie Murphy was there and Rob Bartlett and Dave Hawthorne, and Bob Nelson and me and Minervini all these guys. And then Dixon wouldn’t pay anybody. So me and Richie started a show in Huntington. And I created my dirty joke line 516922 wine to promote that show. And it was such a success and actually lasted 15 years every Tuesday night. At this place in Huntington on the corner and 25 A and one US Route 110 And that grew into the Eastside comedy club. So appies ly grew into the Long Island comedy scene, which is just such a great store.

matt nappo 13:35
Yeah. But also, I think everybody could the story of how your comedy career evolved from your music career. And Ritchie telling you a little fib about the Rodney Dangerfield thing. And that’s great. And then you writing the jokes for him now, I think I’m until I read the book. I had no idea that you were the credit behind the two bagger joke. Everybody I know has told that to bag a joke just thinking that it was Rodney original. And we all got it from Rodney. Well,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 14:11
it wasn’t a Rodney original. But it wasn’t a Jackie original. It’s it’s an old southern expression, which I didn’t know I just this is a true story. I lived at my grandmother’s house. And I this was probably in the book and the phone rang late at night. And nobody had this number one my buddy who was in Peru, doing coke and selling coke. He said chief You gotta listen to the funniest thing I ever heard. There’s a guy down here called Tennessee Bob and he told me about the Tennessee two bagger. And he told me that I wrote it down. And then when Richie told me his lie, I sent Rodney six pages of jokes. And that was one of the jokes on there. Now when you get to know the comedy business, the comedy writing business is very, very little that’s brand new everything is what fits where you’re going to a movie. You know, there’ll be a great joke in a movie, and everybody will love it. But I’ll know where that came from. Because it was a simple twist. It’s just setting something the exact right place. Now that jokes funny enough on its own, but my god that was made for Rodney, you know what I mean? That fits in like a glove. But if you look around you find all the jokes, you know, if there was ever a joke, that sounds like it was created specifically for Rodney because he’s so down and out and so beat up. He says, hey, you know, my wife, I don’t know how I’m doing. I don’t know, Johnny, you know, my wife coming down to twice a week. That’s nothing. Some guys she cut out all together, which is very funny. But I’m reading gursha unlikeness book, and that’s from the Civil War. And it was about rationing. You know, they’re rationing cigarettes, and they’re rationing booze and said, Yeah, my wife even cut me down and twice a week. In other guys is yellow. Some guys, she cut out all together. That’s nine. That’s 1861 You know what I mean? And that, that probably came from the Roman legions, you know, they all of these things have been around forever. And never, never never, which is when you study. It’s just fascinating. Just fascinating. Yeah.

matt nappo 16:22
That is interesting. Because you’re known as this guy with an encyclopedic knowledge of jokes, and so forth. But I’m just wondering, when you were a musician and focusing on guitar playing and getting a Fender Rhodes and whatever, changing your sound and all that stuff, and just focused on the music, were you this guy who just read joke books all the time. I mean, when

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 16:44
I was I was, I have never been any different than I always was. I heard her jokes when I was a kid. And they stuck to my mind. Because I’m a mechanical engineer. I’m pretty smart. And the jokes just stuck with me. And I told them to people, and they laughed. And when they laughed, I remembered them. And I would tell jokes, and I would get joke books when I was a kid in school. If you bought Catcher in the Rye, I got Charlie’s best jokes. You know what I mean? It was one of those things. And I told jokes. And listen, the main thing was not joke books. When I was listening. I listened to every drunk at every party, every pot party, every every bar, I was always the last one standing, you know, telling jokes and remembering them. And in 1975, when I was in my band, we told jokes in between. I mostly told the jokes, but we told jokes in between songs, which I had done in high school, and which I had done in college. to the consternation of every I mean, my college band, we’re playing Rolling Stones, like we play Gimme Shelter. And then I tell a dick joke. People like, what is going on? You know, it just didn’t fit, but I couldn’t not do it. Because I’m so used to stay in the bar telling a joke to two people in us 350 people. And I just told the jokes and told the jokes. But it wasn’t by design. Let me go learn some jokes, because I want to be a comedian. It was just so organic. And there’s nothing I enjoy more than telling somebody a joke. I want somebody to react like I just punched him in the stomach. That’s how hard I want to laugh. When people say you tell dirty jokes. That’s because that’s what people laugh at that they it’s the breaking of the tension that makes up and funny. And anything about sex or crap, or vomit or get you know, that’s much more tension and much bigger laugh, you know, and when I realized I couldn’t do what music, I’m allowed to take these jokes that I’ve accumulated over the years, just tried telling him on stage and, and it worked, you know,

matt nappo 18:48
so but when Rodney called you for that, two weeks, that kind of was a big change in your life. We doing a lot of stand up and it seemed like you would do more writing for him then actually go no,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 19:01
no, no, no, I I sent him so much. But he took so little. And you know everybody, like my friend Dennis Blair was with him for like five years. He just his dream was to write a joke that would somehow make it into Rodney Zack, and it wasn’t easy, because you know, it was so you know, leather clad. And what happened was I wasn’t even a comic. When we were fooling around. I didn’t even know what to do. I maybe climbed on stages catch a rising star a couple of times. And I had just met Richie, Richie Minervini. And, you know, we’re all trying to figure out what he like we’re doing little tiny gigs. Like, you know, I had my guitar amp and me and I’m playing songs and telling jokes in a club. And the guys are showing up just to get stage time because there’s no place besides Dixon’s White House in and people are hungry to get on stage to see what they can do like Eddie Murphy showed up and Bob Nelson you know they get the fire for 10 minutes, and when Richie told me that he had been on a danger fields, that was a huge deal because we weren’t doing clubs we weren’t doing the one anyplace to do it. And I was so jealous that’s when I gave all those pages. And and when he said he didn’t have a connection to Rodney I sent him to Rodney Rodney called me up. It was such a big deal to go meet him at Westbury music fair, but I wasn’t really a comic. I still had a ponytail and blue jeans. You know, he like What the What is this Jesus Christ. And then I always count my beginning of that was in the when would that had to be like 1978 When I was at my grandma’s Yes, like a winter of 78. And I always count my time in comedy is there’s always a starting gun. And I say it was January 79. When I first got paid by Vic at the rainy night house. What I say is it’s the first time I got paid for telling jokes, and playing the guitar, as opposed to playing the guitar and telling jokes. Now you know what I’m talking about two different things. And right away right away, we’re killing it this place cinnamon with these Tuesday night shows. So I’ve already been a musician. I worked in a recording studio, so I knew how to record so I had microphones hanging all the time. So we started doing these shows on Tuesday nights, I had microphones hanging, and I decided I just decided to make an album. So I made an album out of a cassette. I had the best cassettes I had the crowd on the left side and Jackie on the right side and I mixed them onto a two track tape. I knew I could have an album because I had worked in a recording studio, the average person had no idea. If you want to have a record, it’s like baking a cake. You need to tape you need a couple pictures and you need a few dollars. Right and you send it away and you get it but nobody knows that. It’s like this. It’s like Zana Do you know? I knew six months later, I wrote to Ronnie said, Hey, look at this, I got an album. And he says, oh,

matt nappo 22:05
any references to that in the book were guys to just it just didn’t occur to him how real not. It takes hard work. It takes a bit of work. And you certainly did hustle and put that work into I’m not diminishing that. But how simple it is to really record it. Now a lot of colleagues, it just never dawned on them how simple it is just record what

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 22:24
it’s like, not knowing that you can go to the store to buy hamburger. Nobody ever tells you you wouldn’t do it. And then you see somebody to hamburgers. Like how did you do that? Well, I went to the store and bought some chopped meat, you know? It’s it’s, it’s absurd. But it’s like anything if you don’t know what you don’t know what knowledge is power, you know, you wouldn’t believe man you would not believe. For the first however, long time I stand at the door after the shows that we did. And I sell my albums for $5. And the guys used to goof on me you wouldn’t believe how they would make fun to me. And then one day somebody said, Wait a minute. We made $40 and Marlin made an extra 80 bucks selling his stupid albums. Maybe, maybe he knows what he’s doing. You know, it’s insane.

matt nappo 23:13
And the albums were pivotal in the part of your career that most people who are not from Long Island know you from most of all, and that is to how it’s done.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 23:24
I wish I wish that he had to put in the movie. My introduction to him because that would put me on the moon. I put out an album and then I made a second album. And then they made the third album. So by 1982 I had three Jackie the joke man Marlon comedy albums, which was a big deal. It really wasn’t. I made one so I made another so I made another it’s like Ikea the second and third things are easier. You don’t I mean, and nobody, like it was unheard of. It was like I made an album and everybody else got the idea. Nobody even thought about doing it was years and years before people even having cassettes. You know why? When I ran governors comedy shop, I had a cassette player and the people who come and work the club and I put in a 90 minute cassette and I’d record Friday night first show, flip it over into Friday night second show and then Saturday and I everybody that worked the club walked away with two cassettes with all for this shows. And it was like gold. I saw Carol leave for a couple years ago she had Jackie I still got my governance cassette it’s it’s my prized possession. You know, she’s the girl that Elaine was was and I just always did that. And all sudden this guy says yeah, this guy Howard Stern got fired and he’s coming in New York. And I didn’t I had no idea who he was when I sent my three comedy albums. He doesn’t know what’s anybody know this guy’s got three albums. He must be somebody he must be a top guy. You know, like, like, Bill Cosby is not going to send him his album and Jordan Carlin’s not going to send him his album. You know, because they, they actually had albums with a record company in the deal. I’m just the guy that got the made via hold them next to each other. One doesn’t jump out at the other, dude. I mean, it’s like, you know, and when he got the three albums, they were impressive. And if they did nothing else for me, from the word go, if they did nothing, except have him call me, it was worth all the sweat all the blood, sweat and tears.

matt nappo 25:34
And part of that when he was introducing you as one of the top comics in New York, all of a sudden, you are elevated in people’s minds, because he had great listening with his 50,000 Watt station beyond New York, everybody listening to that, all of a sudden, you’re elevated to the guys like who were the kings of the comedy clubs in New York at that time. So you

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 25:56
know, when he first started saying, we got with us today, I want to buy new york’s top comics. I want to correct him in my mind, and I said, Shut up. You know, that’s his opinion. He doesn’t he but he doesn’t know that I’m not. Right. You know, and, and what yardstick anyway, I was a guy, you know, hosting the shows in Levittown on Long Island, right? No, but the guys had come in. And you know, pretty soon people were begging, you know, I asked so many comics to come on that show. And they’d say, what’s it pay? I said, What’s it pay? It’s 50,000 watts of a guy telling your name to the tri state area. Guys, they just don’t get it. They just don’t get it. Jack, I can’t believe I turned down on The Howard Stern Show in 1985. You know?

matt nappo 26:46
Yeah. And basically you work for five bucks at Richard M. Dixons, you’re going to worry about what getting paid from you

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 26:53
know, it’s it’s almost not believable, but it just happens to be the truth.

matt nappo 26:58
Yeah, I need you to clear something up for me because I Okay, thank you. Can we get a picture of it? Wait, we got a picture of Willie here. I attached it to Willie. Right.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 27:11
All areas.

matt nappo 27:13
Um, I talked to a lot of Howard Stern fans who’ve been fans of his back to the ATM days and and continued to this day to listen to him. And I mentioned that already wrote the foreword for your book. And in the foreword that already says that he never engaged in bashing Jackie, when the other people would would do that after you were gone. And everybody said no, it was definitely in the mix on that Jackie bashing stuff. What’s your take on it? What’s true? It was a Jackie basher? Oh, no,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 27:49
I never. I never listened to the show. When I was on it. I never listened to the show. When we went on vacation. I never listened the show after I left. I have never listened to that show ever, which is so many people say oh, your bullshit. You go there. I’m like, Why would I lie about that? Those big those skin off my nose? Like that’s not me. I don’t I wouldn’t listen, if it made me laugh, I would have felt bad. If it didn’t make me laugh. I would have been trying to think what I could do for it. So I had no idea. rd and his friends used to come and see me at rascals. And he even says that my documentary. And they were big fans. He was you know, they he was a great guy. And I knew him not well, but I knew of him and he came on the show at North McDonald. But after I left the show, it wasn’t like we it was I handed him the baton. He didn’t come on the show till like eight months after I left. They tried all kinds of different guys and stuff. And I so nobody ever said that me rd was giving me a hard time or the Scott, you know, people would always tell me that stuttering John was was really crappy to me. And then I see him on you know, and baby on ba Doom, buddy, you know, but I also know that, you know, everybody struggles for airtime. And if you say if you start saying what a nice guy Jackie, is your microphones going off? You know? Did Frd bash me? Maybe that I? I kind of don’t think so. But maybe he did. He might have been so high. He didn’t even know he did. I don’t care. He’s just he’s just a really good guy. He did my documentary. I did his direct TV show three times. I did his podcast three times. I did his new podcast about a month ago. He’s a real good cat. And I have never had a problem with him ever. And it’s so funny because so many emails from people over the last 20 years or 15 years or whatever it is, you know, hey, I It looks like you and I already have friends again. I’m like, because there’s such misconception that he wrestled me out of that chair. You know what I mean? It’s but once people have this, you know, there’s still people think I’m cheap is the I see people and they say you want me to buy a drink. I know you won’t buy me one you No, there’s still yell at me to pay back Rodney that I never owned them. All the things that Howard carved in stone. I don’t even get mad at it because it’s just a testament to his sales power. I mean, he could drive something home he could, if anybody could convince the world that the earth is flat, Howard could have done it.

matt nappo 30:20
Right. There’s so many things I want to touch on there. But first of all, you know, I

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 30:25
will tell you if we, if we don’t get everything done, I’ll do this with you anytime in a week in a month, six months, because I love talking about this stuff. People say, Oh, I know you’re sick. I never get sick of talking about this ever. Because it’s interesting.

matt nappo 30:38
Yeah, it is to everybody. I think now. And Matt,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 30:42
I get, I never, I never make stuff up. I only tell the truth. And it’s really good for me to get the truth. And my side of the story out because it was a lot so many misconceptions. The whole thing about me having a sex change, I gotta tell you right now, that’s only partially.

matt nappo 31:03
I was sure that one was real. But misconceptions, that the idea can you talk about this in the book that you were writing the funniest stuff that Howard said, I think you think that people didn’t know that? I think from my perspective, it was common knowledge that that that Jackie was slipping.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 31:24
That’s the circle that you’re in. That’s the circle you traveled, you probably traveled with musicians, and funny people and showbiz people that are hip to it. But that’s not even I was I was I went to see the sub dudes at the Iridium about 15 years ago, sitting there. My girlfriend couldn’t come so I love these guys. So I’m watching this guy sitting across from me in the table is a you jackass? And yeah, yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, I’m a camera, man. You know, NBC TV, whatever it was. He was somebody in the throes of showbusiness and we start talking. And we get talking. He had no idea. And this is a guy in showbusiness in the throes in the guts of the operations. But it’s, it’s not stupidity, who thinks about it? Right? You don’t watch Johnny Carson and say, Wow, I wonder who wrote that monologue joke? Who cares? You’re laughing, you’re enjoying yourself. You’re not there to work. And he was so surprised. And it’s it’s so funny. I know. I’m sure you know, the chapter in the book. We’re done. Del Louisa was blown away. And Bruce Jenner had no idea what I was doing. Right? That was such an A B situation. So many people so many people had absolutely no idea and so many people it was just as obvious as the day was long. You know,

matt nappo 32:50
Bruce actually I’m this is was hard for me to wrap my head around Bruce actually believe that you were just writing the time down. And

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 32:58
he was he didn’t know he just he was sitting next to me. But he wasn’t watching. So what? What what do you keep writing? I tell Howard what time it is. And he says, That’s what I thought. Every couple of minutes. I could have been saying 10 minutes. So commercial, you know, I’m trying to cut him a break here as opposed to you moron wants you to have your penis cut off.

matt nappo 33:22
Well, I was I was trying to explain to my wife your situation last night that 20 years ago, you walked away from a job that was paying $600,000 A year and or just about $600 $600,000 a year? And she said, How can anybody do that? Why would anybody do that? And I was trying to explain that you were part of something that was probably bringing in $500 million a year. And

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 33:51
everyone was it was so staggering. I what I walked away from was 650. And with with bumps for the next, you know, for the for the five years, and I was making five at the time and even more with the show and whatever. But yeah, like, you know, people say, Oh, you’re making so much money for a writer. I said, I wasn’t a writer. It’s like telling Ringo, you make a lot of money for a drummer. I’m not a drummer. I’m a drummer in the Beatles, right? You don’t I mean, it was like, but nobody else would would. There was not a peep out of anybody. So as the only bird screaming for another warm, which made me look, you know, it’s so funny because how everybody called me cheap, is making $50 million a year and I’m asking for more money so I’m cheap. You know, he sold it. He some people never even people like oh, you know, I never thought of that. You know?

matt nappo 34:48
Right and but he did the same thing with holding out for more money and be right before you did was

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 34:55
to wait two weeks before. We didn’t know if we’re coming back from Christmas. Yeah, we have no idea because he’s holding that, you know, it’s, you know, it’s all Animal Farm. You know, we become what will you barking? You know, you can’t hold out for more money hold on be right with the I gotta I gotta go hold out for more money. Jesus,

matt nappo 35:17
right bottom line there Do you have any regrets about not signing on with their management team and being part of that original?

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 35:25
No, you know, after after it was gone, I wrote to him said I would really like to be on the show if you want to have me back because it wasn’t the money or the fame but I’ll tell you what you miss is sitting in a room with three or four other really funny people for five hours and laughing five days a week that is not something found in in, in in the world. That’s just not something that exists. And I just love that and I was in withdrawal as far as sign with Don Buchwald i Not in a million, not with a gun to my head. You know, I I remember the day after we went to moorings, Howard said, Hey, I got some great news for you, Don’s gonna represent you. And right away, I said no, you know, K rock gives Don money. He gives most of it to Howard. Some of what’s left, he gets to Robin, and then a little bit of what’s left, he gets the fret, I’m going to be the fourth worm. I mean, the fourth little chicken deal with his mouth open waiting to get fed. You know, I mean, he’s got, there’s no way Fred could ever ask for a raise, because Don would have to go in and negotiate with Don. Right. You know, it’s like, take what, take what I’m handing you and be glad you know. And it just seemed like such like my cousin Craig was it was almost a professional baseball players AAA a long time. And he said, an agent couldn’t have two players on the same team. Right? Can’t say yeah, I’ll give you Phil resuable. But you got to sign Tony kubek to you that that’s not fair. Yeah, that’s nice. 1950s baseball reference. But but you know, it’s it just it just felt wrong. Felt weird, you know? Yeah. Sticky. You know,

matt nappo 37:12
right. You mentioned the Beatles. And I do think you guys were the Beatles of radio. I mean, the biggest sensation in radio ever to happen. But no, for

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 37:25
years. For years. I don’t mean the day for years. They broke my balls for coining that for daring to call us the Beatles a radio. Howard hated that and probably still hates it, because that infers that it’s a group, right, that we the rest of us have something to do with it. Yeah, him to him. It’s James Taylor with a backup band. Not entirely true. It just, you know, I tell people, people say all you wrote everything Howard said, No, I didn’t. I didn’t. I wrote some of it. I wrote some funny stuff. So did Fred. But I always use the same analogies if you’re a sprinter. And you run the 100 yard dash and 9.8 I know what the times are now. 9.8 You’re world class. Right? If you run it in 9.9. I mean, if you run nine, nine, you’re world class, if you weren’t 9.8. You break all records that ever work. And that only takes a little bit of wind in your back. And that’s what I was. And that’s what Fred was a little winged in his back. He just, it just rose him above. above everybody else, you know, where somebody else would say something funny. He’d say something funny, and then something funnier, and then something funnier. And, and the great thing was, he was a guy with three different senses of humor, his and mine and Fred’s. But they were all completely different. And one, just three minds work and fast. It was three completely different minds work and fast. So the jokes were from everywhere, like Fred was from Pluto, and I was from punch lines. And Howard was from this broad observation. And it was like coming at you from all sides. It was like it would it would freak people out. You say something really brightened in the stupidest, childless thing in the world which Chuck’s juxtapositions are just just make it just make good good. Good, good radio and great, great comedy. People love it, you know?

matt nappo 39:30
Now my take on that is Howard was always naturally funny, but what you gave to him and what the illusion that he was witty, and his sister even makes that comment in your book. Well, Howard, when did you become so witty? I think and quick with a and that people got the perception, I think and you gave him that it on top of what he already had with observational humor and that kind of stuff and outrageousness. But you gave him this air of being witty and quick and I think that’s the greatest Give you gave them does he any way and now that he’s changed and been through psychotherapy even acknowledged that in any way,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 40:08
you know, supposedly him and Robin, everybody went around and made up with everybody not made up but apologizer what was did this and did that. And you know, I mean, he had a world war with Chevy Chase, and now it’s his best buddy. And he never, I mean, he always acknowledged to me, you know, but he, he’s never said, you know, I wouldn’t be where I am today, if it wasn’t Jack, you know, forget about anything like that, you know, it’s, it’s, I tell people, he was driving the bus. So he couldn’t read the map. But he’s driving the bus. So I can look at the map. And I can say, you know, it’d be really funny if we took a quick ride on the Smith Street. You know what I mean? It was like, you couldn’t do both. And like a piano. It’s such a Yeah, I can’t believe that. I put out that book. And I had a whole extra book, a whole book full of chapters that didn’t make it into the book. And I didn’t put in the chapter, about the making of private parts, which had it had every complaint had them leaving me out them under paying me them not giving me credit them hiding stuff, them leaving me out it that’s a whole book in itself. I can’t believe that didn’t make it in. And it was just, they were gonna do a movie. And it wasn’t gonna have me in it. And I don’t think it was gonna have Fred in it.

matt nappo 41:42
Right? He was still there in that cuz

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 41:46
they scrapped it? No, no, this is this is we’re at K rock, and they’re working on a movie. And um, they’re in the foxhole, right. And I know that they’re all going to the production company, and I’m adamant, and then they scrapped the whole movie. And what they did was they came up with a format that would enable them to never have to show me handing me Howard a note. We watch private parts, I come in at the end, like they already went to Pluto. And I just happened to step on the bus as they pulled into Pluto. Now, this is Jackie, our newest member, and you know, if he even if he hadn’t held up my items at Jackie sent me these albums, I would have been a hero. You

matt nappo 42:27
know, it seems like the only time he ever used the kill switch was to hide the fact that you delete it passing him notes. Right.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 42:36
Is the that whole story about Fred would Elton John, is that what you’re talking about? Yeah, that’s such a God knows. God knows how many times he did that. Gary actually told me about that. And you want it’s one of the things you wouldn’t know it when you’re looking for it. Yeah, you see it, you know, and but you know that I don’t fault them. Because it’s either the tiger if he if that wasn’t him? That wouldn’t be him. Right. You know, you, you know, people are what they are. You know, you don’t get to be Howard Stern. Unless you’re Howard Stern. You know, which so I, you know, people say Oh, Jackie does podcasts and all you can eat can’t wait to bitch and moan and bash Howard. I have never bashed them at all. I will tell the truth and say I pass a lot of notes. And I’ll tell stories of things that happen. But that’s not bashing. That’s funny. You know, people tell stories about me. And I tell stories about Gary. And you know, it’s all fair game, you know?

matt nappo 43:40
Absolutely. I can say unequivocally there’s no Howard bashing in the book. It’s basically you point out some real behaviors, but never once did you say you know how it’s a bad guy because of this, but I think you’re getting some of the dirt. Because stuttering John is that his entire career now is based on Howard bashing. So when people see

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 44:01
told me that people have told us they probably assume that’s what I’m doing.

matt nappo 44:04
Exactly. That was my point that so and he’s not the only one a lot of people who were lower on the on the totem pole than you were on at that Howard Stern Show who now are resent Howard even though he’s the only reason anybody even knows who they are. They’re making their living completely by bashing him. So people just assume you’re out there. And if you mentioned how it’s done, you must be one of these guys who was making his living now bashing me while I was a

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 44:31
comic for a long time before I met him. And you know, I I got really lucky in comedy I really may never become as well known comic as I did, being on the show. But I don’t know I wouldn’t be there is a famous story about Hillary, that Hillary Clinton was getting gas. And somebody said, Hey, you did pretty good. You know. Marin, the president, you’re married to the president United States. That’s pretty Cool, you know, hey, what about what have you? What have you married to a guy who owned a gas station? And Hillary said, Then he’d be president. You know, think about like, it’s not like if I hadn’t met Howard, I would have sat in the corner and twiddle my thumbs. Yeah, I would have kept sending my crap and send them my crap until I bumped into you, you know what I mean? Like, who knows?

matt nappo 45:23
My biggest takeaway from the book, and I’m gonna show the book again, here for a second, my biggest takeaway from the book is a line that you you’re using there, and it’s a cliche kind of, but it’s absolutely true. And in your case, this is what I my, my big takeaway from the book is, the harder you work, the luckier you get. And it’s a really important message. I think anybody in the creative watch, can learn that much from that book, in the stories in the book, it’s worth the investment, you know,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 45:49
the whole world. I mean, that’s, you know, it’s the right place at the right time. The secret is the being a lot of places, then there’s going to be a time, you know, it’s, I let you know, I just I just through the way that the end of the Howard Stern first chapter about Howard, in the book, I said, you know, for all those years, I just threw crap against the wall, and with the Howard Stern Show my crap stuck to the wall, which is the same thing, you know, you just, you just keep at it, and keep at it and keep at it, you know, I worked so hard, and was I just did everything I could to get Pinnacle books to put out a joke book. And I was relentless and relentless and relentless. And finally Larry Wylde left to go to a different company. And I wrote and said, guys, Larry Wild Swan put out my book and they wrote, I swear to God, they wrote back like, alright, Jackie, alright, enough, we’ll put out your book. And the minute that they said yes to publishing my book, all the work and all the begging and all the crap I went through, melted away. I was a guy who had a book deal, and nobody had to know that I didn’t just write and say, Hey, I got a book and that they said, Fine, right? Nobody, nobody has to know you know, Madonna slept on the floor, a rock trying to get a records played. Who cares? You know, she got her records played, obviously, you know?

matt nappo 47:10
Yeah. Now, the joke. Before you were even on how it stands out, I knew who you were. And I think most people on Long Island knew you from the joke line. Now. I was curious about this. Was it before phone sex? Did you get the joke line before phone sex was the big rage thing? And we know

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 47:28
I gotta believe that the minute Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone somebody was doing breathing heavy into it. But you know that nothing to do with phone sex? And funny because to this day, I don’t think myself I’ve ever done it. Bone sex, but no, and it wasn’t. And people used to say, Oh, wow, you must have got really rich with those 800 numbers. And with those with that 800 line, I said it wasn’t an 800 line. It was my mother’s house. Five would cost me for every line. I attend lines. I’ve been paying for it for 43 years. You people that don’t know it’s 516-922-9463, which is 516922 wine. And we’re starting the show in Huntington and we had no money. I said, How are we going to promote the show? I got the bright idea. I’ll get a phone line. I’ll tell a joke. And then say what tonight we’re at cinnamons in Huntington and tell him another joke, which is basic. That’s television. That’s radio, you know, little material a little bit advertising, a little material, little advertising. And it just caught on like wildfire. And the stories go on. And on the first time. We were on the road, I think in Los Angeles at one of those radio conventions where everybody’s sitting around the circle. And Rick Rubin, you know, Rick Rubin? Yeah, he sat down across from us. It’s like 1988, or something. And the first thing he said, he pointed out and said, Jackie, I went to Long Beach High School, and I called Nine to two wine every morning before school. He’s a pretty major guy, you know, I’ve been doing for the last 20 years trying to get him to admit that he said that, because that’s a nice, that’s a nice little promotion, you know,

matt nappo 49:13
but it was extremely inventive idea for you. And because nobody else had done that, at least to my knowledge ever before. So it’s just like, you know

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 49:22
what’s so funny? There it is, again, there’s the exact same thing. I went and bought some hamburger meat made the hamburger and they said, How’d you do that? What’s more obvious than, you know what happened was they invented answering machines. So instead of calling up and having me say I’m not home, leave me a message. I’m saying, This is Jackie. And as long as you’re on the phone, I’ve got your trap. Let me tell you a joke. And then let me tell you where I’m working. It. It really is such a simple, simple concept. Oh, they already did have dial a joke. So I can’t take the credit for you know, the idea of jokes on the phone. But, but once again, but that was Donald. So that was New York City. That was George Carlin having an album that’s Robert Klein having an album that’s not a guy in Oyster Bay with a phone line with an answering machine, you know, though, it was a whole, a whole dumbed down situation, you know, it’s like, it was like going local, which always works, you know? Yeah. So fun, you know,

matt nappo 50:24
and part of the book for stand up comedians, people who are doing it now, there’s so much cool history in there. And I do have a lot of stand ups in in my listening audience. And if you would, because everybody is familiar with the comedy condo the idea of a comedy condo, very few people have any idea where it came from, if

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 50:46
you know what I don’t even know, I don’t even know if the guy’s like the early comic strip guys. I’ve never really sat and had the conversation with the guy. The guy I’m doing the podcast with, which is how I got to know you Peter bales was actually one of the early guys Peter bales used to come to see my band at a place called rumrunners Oyster Bay. And he come over from Locust Valley, because on Tuesday nights, all the local girls were there and they were drunk, an Oyster Bay girls that you know, would round heels that would bang anybody that sneezed. So he would come over there and he liked my band. He noticed I told jokes, and then we start doing the show and cinnamon. And he would drive out from the comic strip, you know, with Cairoli for and Dennis wolfberg and recover to the nice people, because they’re coming to Huntington and getting paid 40 or 50 bucks and getting drunk and getting stoned and get laid as opposed to running from catch a rising star to the improv and getting the hamburger. So everybody loved it. And then the fort Lord, I mean, the comic strip got syndicated Richie put the comic strip in Fort Lauderdale. And any got a condo for the comics, a beautiful condo and they was so out of control that they got kicked out of the building. I think in a month, it might have been less than a month. And he rented some, you know, shoddy house and they moved into the house. But it just became the comedy condo which was kind of like in quotes, you know, like can’t yet right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it’s an in the early days like there were times you went work the gig like in in Richmond, Virginia, where you stayed on a waitresses couch. But that was the comedy condo, which is just so fun. And you know, it’s funny now, it wasn’t funny when you’re, you know, trying to rationalize. I’m 34 years old. I’m sleeping on a couch right now. I’m really in showbusiness, you know,

matt nappo 52:48
yeah. And we won’t we recently did a podcast on it. And they were friends of Andy Andrews, who were talking about the you know, his what His room was really a when the Japanese room divided type.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 53:01
Right, right. Right is every everything you could possibly imagine.

matt nappo 53:05
Yeah. But now it’s a staple. So and so you actually. And I was talking about this before you seen the evolution of, you know, comedy clubs. La had, you know, the Comedy Store in New York had Caroline’s and so forth. And Dangerfield, of course, and the Fort Lauderdale scene. But comedy clubs were not a thing nationwide. And that was

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 53:28
the Comedy Store in LA. And new was the improv in Manhattan, and then kept rising star. The Comic Strip actually was much later. And that’s right when I came aboard. But it was was very slow going, you know, I mean, there just weren’t a lot of people. Because there weren’t any comics were COVID and said to me one day said, you know, there’s only 150 of us. And he said, think about that. He said, right, probably in New York City alone is probably, you know, 5000 brain surgeons, and there’s only 150 of us. And I was so excited. He even clued me in the US. But now there’s 150,000. Comedians, right, you know, it’s like anybody, you know, oh, look, comedy tonight. Well, let me stop in there and see if I can go on, you know, so it’s just gotten really, you know, it’s almost like any, anybody can walk on to Yankee Stadium and play shortstop for anything, which is not really how it should be, you know?

matt nappo 54:27
Yeah. So your podcast is launching tonight at 7pm. It’s, I’m imagining it’s pre recorded. It’s not when

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 54:34
it’s pre recorded. It’s probably live already. I haven’t looked. For whatever reason I haven’t looked. It’s stand up either with or without the hyphen, stand up patients in a website, and then you can go to YouTube, or, or Spotify. I don’t know. However, the you know, they always say most of the same stations. You know, I’ve never gotten that crap straight. But tonight, we’re actually going to be on YouTube. Live, and we’re going to watch it and watch the people comment. I already called Gold. Michaels in I said, be ready because this is this is where the stern haters come out. You know, there’ll be one guy saying, oh, Jackie, I love you and 90 people saying he owes Rodney Mone bashes Howard, he’s a piece of crap. You know, but you know that you, you just, you laugh it off and then you walk away and you know, it irks. Yeah.

matt nappo 55:29
Yeah, no, I get it. And that sucks. I mean, that this, the internet is just made for trolling. Man.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 55:34
I’ll tell you the one thing I love. I love having my book out. You wouldn’t believe how many people have written to me or email me or said to me, Holy mackerel that your book opened my eyes. I didn’t know any of that stuff. Probably never thought about it. And it’s so funny because a year or two ago, I got a huge bump in sales. And the publisher called me up and said, What did you do? What show did you go on? You know what? You know, what do you what do you do? Yeah, I went on my blog. And and then I realized what happened was Howard put out a book. Oh, yeah. If you buy a book on Amazon, underneath it says people who bought this book, also bought this book. Yeah, they already got their mouse out. They already got the credit card there. And with one click, they got my book to $15 So I got a huge bump in sales was Howard never said to his audience, Jackie has a book out or were don’t even if he said don’t buy Jackie’s book people go what book, you know, people had no idea, right? So it’s been an uphill battle trying to get it sold. But you know, but about

matt nappo 56:40
the book I could, I didn’t want to talk just a little bit more about the podcast, but about the book, you wrote a memoir, you’re still young, young enough that you have big things ahead of you. And they got to be another, a follow up, right? Because you’re not done. Usually people write their memoirs when they’re done.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 56:58
I wrote, I wrote enough for two books. So I have a whole if you really didn’t read the book, I’m going to send you the unpublished book. There’s a whole nother books worth the chapters. But I can’t even tell you like even if I retired from everything right now I got more stories coming out of my ears, you know, I just look around in my head, you should come visit my office, you’d get a kick out of it. But I look at my office and I see you know a cell of the Flintstones with me on stage in Blackrock or whatever it is in me with Keith Richards and Les Paul and and joke man plates and martling street and all the times I was on stern and all the all the notes from Rodney in the cartoon by Don Martin just at random looking. And all of those things lead that incredibly fun, eclectic, stupids, maybe not especially knockdown drag out funny. But interesting stuff, how things lead to other things. And I just, I never get sick of that. So yeah, no, I’m gonna, I’m gonna keep writing. You know, I just I wrote a whole long story the other day, just because if you see somebody you haven’t seen in a long time, and they say, Oh, I’m friends with so and so. You want to tell so and so the story about the friend that you have in common? And next thing, you know, like, oh, yeah, and as you start writing, like, it gets nuts. You know, if I thought somebody was going to buy it, I’d be writing books like crazy, but you know, might. So there was millions and millions and millions of fans, but not that many people bought my book. I mean, I’m not complaining. Yeah, I made some money. But I would have been so nice. If the word had gotten out a little. And I waited too long. I waited 15 years or 17 years, you know.

matt nappo 58:48
Yeah. And people. I think if you would have really bashed Howard, it probably would have been a better seller.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 58:55
Everybody. Everybody says that, you know, yeah, Jackie, you know, you’re you’re, you’re pushing you. Why don’t you write your real mind you write what you really feel like, you know, and but most people will any brain say, Wow, that’s it. It’s a heartfelt book. It really makes sense. I got a documentary that’s coming out, was screening it at Chappaqua. On February 12, Lincoln’s birthday, duck. And it’s, and it’s good. And right now, a couple of cable companies have it and we’ll hope if it gets sold, it’ll be so fun because it’s it basically it kind of accomplishes what the book did. And but if it got on one of those cable companies, any stern fan, even the you know, even the people that hate me would be interested. And it’s just an eye opener, you know, so,

matt nappo 59:44
I don’t know. And again, you’re probably right about the circles that I run in. I don’t know of anybody who hates you. I just think there are a lot of misconceptions out there about that. But I think a lot of people have turned on how in a lot of the law, his most loyal people to see a change him and he’s gone really Hollywood and this woman that’s got his, his Miss Mephisto kind of Jones whatever it is right?

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:00:10
He will tell me it took him a long time to finally come around to realizing Holy crap. He’s not that funny. You know, like, like, it’s in your area there with aligner you’re not that was never his job. That’s not what he did. No, he’s easy. He’s not a joke, or he’s a talker. And he’s so good at it, you know,

matt nappo 1:00:32
right. With the podcast now, you and Peter bass. Are you having other guests on? Or is it just you and him every

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:00:40
what happened was this guy, this guy, Mike cave, who has pink I’ve never heard of that charity. Yeah, he’s a great, great guy. And he’s got so much going on. He’s got so many things going on. So he started tied in media, which is his media company. And he has a beautiful room and a beautiful green room. And it’s a whole studio. And he’s a friend. And he’s always ever since I met him, he always wanted to do something with me. He said, What about doing a podcast? I said, Yeah. Alright, well, we’ll give it a shot. And Peter bells is my oldest dearest friend. He’s the one that dragged me into the comic strip in Manhattan and jumpstarted. Me. So wants to come be my guest. And we act. And after a couple hours, I said, You know what, this should be our show, not my show. This should be our show. We came up with stand up memories, because he’s a professor and comic that’s been around for 40 years. And I’ve been around for 40 years. And we know everybody. So we started talking. We have 20 shows in the can ready to go once a week for 20 weeks. We haven’t spoken to another human being yet. Do we plan on it? We of course we plan on it. I got probably 50 texts and emails from Jackie, I’m perfect for your show. I’ll be perfectly show you got me on the one thing we’re not going to do is sit there with another comic. So he can try and be funny and and tell you. You know, comics aren’t good interviews, you know, unless they’re a little bit off the beaten track, you know, that, like, radio, people have always said to me, man, it’s such a joy to have you in because you get right to the joke and right to the story, you know, other comics that like prod me, prod me get me going, you know, it’s like, you just take the microphone, and you’re off to the races. Broadcasters appreciate that.

matt nappo 1:02:28
Yeah, absolutely. And some of the guys I’ve interviewed, I didn’t do a lot of comics, and some of them just want to do material and want to send me stuff before to kind of lead them into their materials. Like

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:02:39
I said, do that, that the audience

matt nappo 1:02:43
isn’t interested in that either. They’re interested in real life stories and the kind of stuff that you brought here so I appreciate that.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:02:49
Yeah, what’s going on behind the curtain? You know? Yeah,

matt nappo 1:02:53
just one more question before I let you go cuz we are an hour and I don’t want to disrespect your time. To Gelman thing.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:02:58
Yeah, disrespecting my time. I got nothing to do. I I love talking about myself. But I didn’t say that. Okay, I appreciate that. I’m not talking about myself talking about the comedy, especially from Long Island. We we could do. Who do you know, for a million years? I will say February 18? No. What night is it? February 18. It which which is this Jesus February 12 is the document on February teeth. At my father’s place, that’s not my father’s place. It’s the Rosalyn cellar with Susan Akilah who is a violinist with a great band it’s her show I’m just doing like opening 20 minutes. And they’re great guys is Joe G and and Susan and they have like a five or six piece band and it’s going to be so much fun and the rosin cellar. I mean, and it’s literally down the street from the old my father’s place which I get such a kick out of. Right so I want to give that a plug because we’re here we’re talking about Long Island. Yeah,

matt nappo 1:04:04
well the book has a different feel for me being a Long Island and and I think it would be for people who only know you from the Stern show cuz you mentioned so many things that nostalgic for me in a way I mean mentioning of clubs I know and how they got started. And all

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:04:19
right, you look up and next thing you know, you’ve been daydreaming for 20 minutes about the old days, which I think is a great thing, you know?

matt nappo 1:04:25
Yeah. But the Gilman stuff is that the the Gilman incident? Is that the straw that kind of broke the camel’s back with your relationship with how it is that was at the beginning of the end.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:04:39
Oh, the practical joke. Yeah. Oh, no, no, that was just something really, really funny that happened years ago that was on Shelter Island. That was one of the great stunts. That was one of the great stunts, you people. I just pulled this stunt. We were out to dinner. And one of our rivals that are on air rivals, it was Kathy Kathy Lee Givens producer. It’s too long a story to go into. But imagine if it’s somebody that you’ve always had words with and kind of professional. You know,

matt nappo 1:05:18
Howard was a constant, Kathie Lee and Frankie right,

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:05:22
so much animosity. And here we are sitting in this little tiny space. And they’re at one table and we’re in the other table. And I pulled the waitress aside and said, Listen, I want you to bring Howard a joke. I’d bring Howard a drink, and tell him it’s from Michael Gelman. And she said, why I can’t I said, Listen, I gave her I’d love to say I gave her 100 bucks. I think I gave her 20 bucks, and said, Look, just do it. And when I went to do it, stuttering John and Scott Einziger, who was the producer of the show, ran out ran out of the room. They didn’t want anything to do with it, because they don’t want to get in trouble, you know. And so this waitress, in this little tiny room, brought Howard a drink and said, this is from Mr. Gilman, and how it is six, six, and he stood all the way up and raises glass and said, God, man, and it was so obvious that Garmin had no idea what what the hell he was talking about. And it was just, it was just so mean, but so harmless. And so funny. And all six months, six hour just sat back down in his chair, and I’m next to me said, The waitress told me the drink was from government. And I said, I know that’s, that’s what I told him to tell you. He was busy. You know, he was so pissed. And then he came in Mondays. And you know what I told you daughters what you did to me. And they thought it was funny. Because the tides get turned on the big guy. That’s, you know, that was my job. That was my job to throw a little sand in the gas there.

matt nappo 1:07:05
Beautiful story. Well, I do want to wrap this up, because I do want to get the audio out in time to promote your thing for tonight, so people will be on it. Again, it’s called a stand up memories. The link will be in the description for you folks. I hope people will tune in tonight again, Jackie will be in the chat room and and looking at some of the comments and maybe even commenting back so I really appreciate your time here.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:07:28
Let me tell them email me especially you overseas people joke land. Not choke me in jail, K la nd joke All my gigs are on joke, land calm. I tweet a dirty joke every day at Jackie martling on Twitter. And look for the documentary joke man. And Matt, I really appreciate this. I hope we get to do it again. I don’t know if I have your email address. Do I have your email? Yeah,

matt nappo 1:07:54
we’ve been writing back and forth for about a week now.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:07:58
It was through Matt. I know it was through Matt. I mean through Mike, Mike, Matt.

matt nappo 1:08:04
Mike, Matt, we’re all the same person. I appreciate it. Yeah. And please do come back. Whenever and anytime. You’re always welcome back here. Thank you so much.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:08:13
You know what I always tell interviewers, a lot of times people say God, I wish you I’d ask Jackie about this as much as people ask you just keep a list of all the stupid things, all the stupid questions. And if we do this again, you could say, Alright, I got a list of 20 things that people were curious about. And then we’re off and running. You know,

matt nappo 1:08:33
we got a lot of those. They just didn’t bring them up today. And then people in the chat rooms right now just asking stuff like that. But if we if we had time today, but I do want to get the audio out so people will know about it for a minute. Just promise me we’ll do this again. We definitely will do this at your convenience. My friend. I would love to have you back. Thank you.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling 1:08:50
And I would love you to come out here and see Joe Klein. Thank you very much. I really appreciate.

matt nappo 1:08:55
Thank you Jackie. Have a great day. And we’ll look forward to talking to you tonight. Great. Bye for now. Bye bye. Jackie the joke man martling. Folks, fantastic conversation there. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did. I hope you will check out his show tonight. And be part of it. So I don’t have another program on for tonight because we are. I’m in the book mode myself. I have to finish up the book. So I’m kind of putting some of the shows on hold. Tomorrow I have Tommy Cheung at 1pm with me on course morning coffee with the dog tomorrow morning 9am to 11am. But Tommy Chong at 1am and we’ll be taking your comments and chance for you to chat with the fabulous Tommy Cheung yourself. kind of ask him some questions. And I believe Carl and Jamie will be sitting in at least for part of that. So hope you’ve been great having you here this morning. Thanks for coming. I appreciate all of you up to everybody. been supportive of the program up until now and thanks. keep on coming to you About it keep on coming back and always remember to turn on round Round. Listen to me Listen to me Listen to me, Listen to me Listen to me

Is Tony Robbins a Fraud? | BuzzFeed Allegations & Bad Mental Health Advice

Is Tony Robbins a fraud? Dr. Grande weighs the pros and cons to form his opinions. You don’t have to agree with him, and can find other “evidence” he may not address. but you have to respect his unbiased approach.
Also, he’s right about the polarization around Robbins personally. My take is what the flim-flam man said. “You can’t cheat an honest man”.

Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: This video attempts to answer the questions: Is Tony Robbins …

Hasan reacts to Joe Rogan getting corrected on his show

Here we see L. Ron Rogan, leader of the all conspiracies are true cult, calling real, verifiable information a conspiracy because if exposes his made up, nameless friend story as BULLSHIT. Rogan is exposes and undressed and the cult says his new suit is amazing.
The video has a lot of childish Twitch stream comments in it. If you don’t want to hear children playing schoolyard text taunting:

Start at 0:37 – 1:28
Then again 3:44 – 8:16

hasanabi #joerogan #reacts.

How To Live 101 with Andy Andrist

The Strongest Man I Know Delivers A Holiday Message

Andy Andrist has been through more than it would take to break most people. Every one of us has had some hardships and trials to deal with. Andy has had more than his share and then some and maintains a sense of humor, combined with a sense of purpose to face life”s hardest challenges in a way that should be a lesson to all of us.

Andy’s family back story includes nightmares of pedophilia, rape, a severely disabled father, hard core drug use and alcoholism, career disappointments, economic hardship and enough drama to fill an entire season of Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer combined.

One week prior to Christmas, his daughter was the victim of a smash and grab burglary, resulting in being robbed of presents intended for her students and having Andy’s car window broken with damages not covered by insurance deductibles. Merry Christmas. 3 days later he was diagnosed with having one of the more challenging cancers to treat. He handled it all with grace and his unique brand of dark humor.

On Christmas eve. he joined  me for the morning show to talk about his situation and how he is focusing on being at his daughter’s wedding as motivation and inspiration for beating his current Goliath. I am proud to know this man and call him a friend.

Oh and, he happens to be the single funniest comedian alive today.

Like most independent entertainers and normal workaday folks in the USA, Andy’s healthcare coverage only covers him when he doesn’t need it. The last thing he needs in his battle with cancer is stress about going deep into debt. Please help ease that burden.

Use Venmo or Paypal to send directly to


matt nappo 1:02:56
Where were we ah, there he is. He’s got some very close up thing going on. It will say Oh, whoa wait.

Andy Andrist 1:04:45
Holy fucking yeah the angle 30 pounds to your flannel.

matt nappo 1:04:51
is gonna say you look like you’re playing Santa nail. You swallowed Andy Andrist, Santa.

Andy Andrist 1:04:56
Yeah. I keep this I get the hat out for Do I do sort of like what you do for Christmas Eve, I haven’t done it for a few years. But it started as like a pitch on the man show is like, Let’s deliver a beer to the homeless. Like, it was like, you know, the beginning of one of the wars, and was sort of a, you know, timely pitch. And they know, they, they came up with every reason why we, you know, like, like, for instance, what if one of the host gets picked by a homeless guy? Well, if it’s Rogen, it’ll be fucking great TV.

matt nappo 1:05:31
I don’t know, I saw it on fear factor, and he was trying to break up a fight and he looked like a pussy, to be honest with you.

Andy Andrist 1:05:39
I doubt he would be like, down with get bit by a homeless guy, you know. Now, he just takes some horse medicine and he’d be fine. back then. So I don’t know, it was a few years after the man show. And now the you know, the pitch was going to, we’re going to deliver beer to the homeless, and then the idea grew. And then we’re going to like give them you know, disposable cell phones, they could call family, it turned into it would have been a pretty nice idea. And it never would got past the lawyers. So I was home and I had a bunch of shit beer, you know, leftover from summer, whatever. And I got it all in the freezer. And I went around and handed it in, I got a bunch of like the whiskies and you know, any booze that had been stored for a while that I wasn’t going to use fucking homeless people will, you know, they’re not going to go, oh, I can’t use this cooking brandy. No thing so but it was kind of a It was cool. And I did it, you know, it’s just gonna drive and and, you know, it’s, it’s like every red flag you could put up the, the cool part was she was getting out and hand and beard it you know, they think, oh, it’s gonna be somebody with a toothbrush and some soap or like, Hey, man, you want to get fucked up? I got some beer and some shots. And you know, and then I did it for years. And then I started adding food to it, thinking well, I’m getting camera shots and all the you know, I’m kind of exploiting them for my own entertainment purpose. So I pizza. And, and you know, so there’s like families or you know, there’s kids that are homeless and aren’t ready to start drinking. If your

matt nappo 1:07:20
Carl made the point this morning, and I agree that what do people for if you can’t use them for content, but the point about homeless people will take anything was made. I think last summer when you were handing out tuna fish sandwiches in the middle of the summer with no refrigeration after like 24 hours.

Andy Andrist 1:07:35
Well, those were the ones those were the ones they wanted what they you know, they cuz if you’re homeless, you’re already fucked. So you might as well get food poisoning, and call it good. Or as James James, my friend put together peanut butter sandwiches, which, uh, you know, if you’re homeless, you can put that away and have it, you know, the tunas. And I think this is why they were more popular is the tuna you just eat right away. Like, you know, I was presenting it and James was the one who had the idea and peanut butter sandwiches. And then I was like, fuck that. I’m gonna upgrade and go, Hey, would you rather have a peanut butter sandwich or a tuna? And they’re all almost all of them said, Yeah, tuna.

matt nappo 1:08:13
Wow. Wow. Well, good. You know, and that’s great that most people would think well, that’s just he’s just being kind of making fun of the situation, but you’re helping out and you. Yeah. humanitarian effort.

Andy Andrist 1:08:28
In fact, on that one, we really didn’t get many, you know, pictures. I went to this I got all these cans. You know, I haven’t been to the you get 10 cents a can and sign up, throw him away. I just bagged him up. And I had like six big garbage bags full of them. And thinking, well, maybe I’ll use some of this to finances pizza, homeless? Nah, fuck no, there’s these twin brothers. They’re like 6263 Even they’re just lanky fucking guys. And they work a grid, picking up cans. Like you’ll see one up here and the next street over the other one and they kick ass as far as you know, if you’re gathering cans you don’t like these guys, because they’re fucking the Trumps of can gathering and Trump’s the bad. You know, the Trump’s aren’t good at anything. So that’s not even the apt, but why would

matt nappo 1:09:21
they be Out Stealing cans from homeless people just need them just to make sure you don’t get anything

Andy Andrist 1:09:27
technical, or they run the machines where they cash them in and take the money and, you know, send the dog out. But so I’ve done that I’ve given this guy like a few bags of cans before I don’t know their twin brothers, so it could have given them to his brother, but a few years ago, and the guy just made me feel great for the fucking gesture. You know, it’s like, here’s, here’s 60 You know, dollar 60 And he’s like, but I gave him you know, probably 50 $60 worth of cans yesterday. And in the fucking guy, you know, he fucking squeal. You know? is just so happy and you know about it. And then you gave me a hug, I took a picture of, you know, the two of us, and I can’t, I’m not going to post it because I don’t want to say, Hey, I, you know, but it just, it just that gesture, you know, I had those cans, I didn’t really want to take them in, but I also knew, you know, there’s, these fucking guys will appreciate it. And some say they smoke crack, or crystal meth. And the teeth on this gentleman would suggest that, you know, they definitely some hard times or whatever. But if I’m out, you know, living on the streets with my brother, picking up cans, that’s just like winning the lottery. So when his brother shows up, they’re like, you know, they gotta go, I think you can only get $35 at a time. So they probably take them and you know, shifts and work, or kuntang or whatever. But at the end of it if they smoke, some crystal meth and that gives them a little, you know, rip and a happy buzz on the holiday, then fucking mission accomplished. Those guys aren’t gonna be here forever. And neither Meyer, any of us and it’s like this fucking disconnect between people like that train picture. It’s just some people. It’s like a humanity test. Some people see Oh, my God, these people are fucked. And you know, I don’t think I could live around a big homeless population like that, because I got fucking walking empathy.

matt nappo 1:11:22
But in LA, for the mantle, you had to live in LA, right?

Andy Andrist 1:11:26
Yeah, yeah. And it’s just like it was. Yeah, I brought one guy. I forget how. Anyway, I brought one guy into the man show a lot. Like, oh, yeah, we’re pitching it. You know, like, this is my actor I’m bringing in and I just let him use the facilities. You know, like, you know, and I think I call down wardrobe and got, you know, so they come in shave him wash him. I didn’t, you know, he did all that on his own. And then I just called wardrobe. And let’s say, you know, hey, we’re working on a thing. We need a pair 32 under underpants and some pants. And I do those kinds of things. You know, I usually like help somebody at someone else’s expense.

matt nappo 1:12:05
Yeah, my wife had a thing where she would and she still wants to do this a lot. bringing it home with people. Oh, they’re only going to stay, you know, till they get on their feet. Well, that ends up being a year, two year three years. And then they rob us. And, and we call the cops on him and the cops are mad at us for taking them in. Like basically, what Yeah, homeless people, what do you expect, you can’t be bringing these people in your house.

Andy Andrist 1:12:31
They weren’t born. They weren’t. I mean, most, for the most part, most of our born homeless, right? And regular people, and they just got fucked up along the way are like these brothers. You know, it’s like, I’ve been intrigued with these guys for years, like, you know, like me and my brother gathered cams back in the day, and he’d fucking rip me off and we’d fight. And eventually, both of us gravitated towards other aims in life. But like, these are twin brothers, they probably they look like they could have been athletes back in the day. I’m sure their parents didn’t see him going into fucking gathering up cans. And but if I was their parent, at least I would be like, god dammit, you guys are the best. You know, if they smoke math, it does not interfere with their fucking in fact, that might enhance their ability to get cans. You know, somewhere along the line avoid stop coming home for Christmas. And they, you know, they do what they do. And hell I you know, I I’m not going to judge anybody. I mean, if I was out on the streets, I would be looking for fucking quick. Hi.

matt nappo 1:13:39
Oh, yeah, I would I don’t know. Especially here. I mean, if I was on the streets, I would be in Key West. That’s the immediately go down, man. Yeah, you

Andy Andrist 1:13:51
want to Well, you want to go to the warm miss most liberal place you can find and that’s why a lot of them are in LA. or San Francisco or whatever. It’s, you know? Yeah, you know, I’m intrigued by you know, Midwest homeless. It’s like goddamn when health you know, yeah, I would have a sign that says need a bus ticket. There you start building incrementally but just me walking Cago Milwaukee being homeless in Milwaukee is like Fuck yeah. You know,

matt nappo 1:14:23
and scary thought holy.

Andy Andrist 1:14:27
Yeah. Yeah, he wants you know, you walk around with fucking brown feet. You know, fucking your hair gets all dreaded out. And you might just be a completely mentally unstable low life but Keywest you might get also be accepted as a fucking guru. You know, there’s so many fucking Ritchie’s there, you know, takes us one or two of them to to finance a sidewalk Jesus.

matt nappo 1:14:56
Well, I was just thinking I could probably walk into Westbeth but Oh, Baptist what is Westboro Baptists? And tell them I’m the second coming and they might even believe me. Yeah, I’m here.

Andy Andrist 1:15:09
Yeah, I went by that church. And there was a, like, I think there’s a Dairy Queen, something I saw excited to, like a woman with one leg, a big moo, moo. And she ordered food up there and ate, what she couldn’t, you know, like the she had an ice cream cone and bags of food. So she jammed the ice cream cone, and then did a wide swing around with her leg, the wheelchair and the bags, and you know, kind of, I didn’t order anything to eat, see, and hurry filled me up. And then across the street, there was a group of kids protesting tobacco. I was like, it must have been an off day or whatever. But it’s like, you know, they just like it’s, it’s part of their whole fucking thing. What are we protesting today? I don’t give a shit. Just hand me my sign. I’m against it.

matt nappo 1:16:01
You got to be pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel when you get to tobacco these days?

Andy Andrist 1:16:06
I know. Yeah. But it was like a group of kids. Like, they don’t give a fuck, you know, kids bought, you know, it’s like, you got to go back about 10 years to have kids who are genuinely genuinely upset or concerned about their parents smoking maybe 2030 years ago. You

matt nappo 1:16:25
know, I don’t want to make light of your situation. But you mentioned a homeless guy hugging you any concern that you’re already dealing with some health issues, and that might be not the best

Andy Andrist 1:16:39
for you? I haven’t, you know, I don’t know how I feel about the homeless and their backs, you know, but I did not ask for a VAX card. I should have said, Hey, man, you’ve been boosted. And I’m not talking about that shit. You inject yourself? The real shit? No, I didn’t. I thought about that early on. Like I have this a case called hobo Danny around. He calls himself hobo Danny, and I’m not sure what happened to hobo Danny, I think he may or may not have disappeared. And somebody went into his account, but early on in this thing. He saw me down there. And he’s like, oh, you know, I had a mask on. He goes, You’re not buying this bullshit. Are you? And I don’t know, man. And he. And then he wanted to smoke weed with me. And I was like, usually that would be fine. And maybe not. No, but yeah.

matt nappo 1:17:31
If it’s that kind of situation, I will roll you one and roll me one now.

Andy Andrist 1:17:39
Right now, for a while I had like that, you know, alcohol wipes by my pipes. Like

matt nappo 1:17:50
Did the doctor give you any kind of you can’t smoke weed shit or no?

Andy Andrist 1:17:55
Well, if you don’t ask, I don’t you know, like, it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

matt nappo 1:18:00
Ask them Oh, quit. Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Andy Andrist 1:18:04
Christmas. Yeah, I feel like no one I did a lung scan. That was the last thing I did a couple like, early this week. And, boy, I’ve never been more nervous about test results in my life than okay, they’re, they’re taken. So far I got this cancer or what they’re calling a cancer and it’s in one tiny spot in my bio duck. But they’re taking a look at my lungs. And the lungs are the ones

matt nappo 1:18:33
I get it, man this

Andy Andrist 1:18:36
ship. And so, you know, she called up and I you know, I just kind of took it as Oh, she’s saying I’m fucked. I go, oh, god damn it. No, really? And she goes, No, no, this is good news. And I don’t even you know, she’s like, we did your lungs. And there’s, you know, there’s no I think she said there’s no malignant, you know, there’s no, whatever, but I just heard, you know, I was expecting the worst. So I just really, you know, because if my lungs or if there’s cancer anywhere else, you know, I’m gonna I’ve got a I haven’t started it yet. But I have a wish list for hospice. And if I find out I got cancer anywhere else, it’d be better to just get them the list early. Because some of that wouldn’t be hard to find. You know, horse tranquilizer sure ketamine and, you know, all the usuals but I might want to explore down the list a little.

matt nappo 1:19:33
Yeah. And call Rogen quickly and say, you know, what do I need? What do I do doc?

Andy Andrist 1:19:38
human growth hormones. You got anything to sprout hair up?

matt nappo 1:19:43
Well, that’s great. If you get a lung scan and the worst news they deliver is Oh, you got to switch to Indigo from sativa right.

Andy Andrist 1:19:53
And I have I have done a little that just so for, for sleeping. And I sleep all right. I or whatever but it’s like you know I haven’t really embraced that difference between I’m a sativa guy and I don’t get why you know but now that I want to just shut some shit down yeah indica is great I got an indica edibles and even a couple of green green indica buds

matt nappo 1:20:19
I’ll be honest with you, I’m thinking that I’m wired backwards with the sativa indica stuff because I get the opposite of what I’m supposed to get. So I’m I get with tea because I want to get creative and write music and stuff and all it does is put me to sleep I get the Indigo stuff and then all of a sudden I’m getting green Yeah, I’m like hybrid is the best bet for me.

Andy Andrist 1:20:43
I don’t run into it as much anymore but it used to just fucking infuriate me to go to a pot store. I know what I want. I know what today is the deals and all that shit and then somebody who’s like you know need to marijuana 101 class you know, what am I gonna feel? Is this one gonna, I’m looking for you know, and then they’ll go this little give your body like you know, just this one will take the edge off of my suicidal thoughts. So could you please get the fuck out of my way? You know, body high shear. This one. This one will really aid you know, if you’re writing a screenplay. This one will really punch it up in a green jar, you Fox Well,

matt nappo 1:21:29
this is kind of a one of the reasons I’ve obviously so most insignificant reasons, but you got to stick around because I am working on a screenplay that kind of you gave me idea for it. I was going to make you a executive co producer when I get a deal for

Andy Andrist 1:21:45
well, it’s easier like Rocky Sylvester Stallone stole a lot of this other this book club boxers story. Right and it probably would have been better for him if the real rocky had died. All right. Yeah. I come up with all of this. I forget the guy’s name but yeah, yeah, check. chaotic. You know, Chuck should assume Sylvester Yeah, it’s good. That’s pretty amazing. Like he took he took this guy’s you know the the beats of this guy’s story and turned it into a fucking movie franchise and never gave fucking Chuck anything.

matt nappo 1:22:26
Yeah, he was doing church tours. Chuck at camp. What’s nurse something like that? Yeah. But he was doing church towards giving inspirational talks about his how we and they were building him as the real rocky.

Andy Andrist 1:22:40
Right. Yeah, like there’s that real Kramer know what a fuckin sad thing that is. Touring in support of being a fucking footnote.

matt nappo 1:22:55
The sign I never saw the sign before the signing of the issues with Andy it looks like it says Dr. Seuss with Andy. Is that new? I never saw that before

Andy Andrist 1:23:06
it’s been up there. I don’t know how to frame my shit and Shaylee goes it looks at when I first read moved over about four feet. Shaylee said it looked a little busy because it worked for you. Like it’s you know

matt nappo 1:23:21
you look perfect today like I’m sure Charlie’s gonna be saying well the lighting was perfect. I know what the hell

Andy Andrist 1:23:27
yeah, I know I haven’t I have a heat dish and then the lights askew but it’s yeah that morning. I don’t know they they timed it so that I have either fucking direct sunlight in my face. Or you know darkness so yeah, if they we I say we do it in the morning.

matt nappo 1:23:45
Your call is coming back in for considering everything you look fucking healthy man.

Andy Andrist 1:23:51
Well that’s what uh that’s the fucking Stan you know cuz my liver was getting fucked with all this whatever and so I was kind of in liver failure and there are no liver failures. Their liver to do a lot more than others and then they fucking burn out.

matt nappo 1:24:12
It’s all a learning curve for you. It’s all a journey and a learning experience for your liver I find that there are two liver failures they all do like all of us they just learned

Andy Andrist 1:24:23
at first your liver fails I don’t know your thoughts

matt nappo 1:24:28
so that that show you did way way you got hammered. That tended to be a kind of a blessing

Andy Andrist 1:24:36
was kind of a hidden suicide attempt. Because my liver was severely fucked people around me were noticing that my skin was yellowing and and and then the guy says you want to do a shot and yeah and then not only did I want to do that when I wanted to revisit my fucking alcoholic roots and and go all in. So yeah, I got fucking completely blackout drunk fell that you know, it’s like, okay, yeah, you know, it’s like, you gotta You gotta listen to, to least the fucking basics. Yeah, okay my skin, like I could Google yellowing skin and find out I was having liver problems, you know, but and I don’t I’m not even sure I want to count that show cuz if I don’t do another show is that my last Oh god,

matt nappo 1:25:23
that was my same thought like no, this is the reason you have to beat this just to do another show to get more

Andy Andrist 1:25:29
or just jump on an open mic on this week’s but yeah, I did it open for Billy Wayne Davis and I’ll go ahead and count that as my last thing, if that’s what you know if I don’t get better or whatever, but I you know, it sounds sounds like I’ve got a pretty good odds of, of, you know, continuing this drama

matt nappo 1:25:51
on I have a good feeling about the outcome of this thing. But my point is, if you hadn’t done that and hadn’t crashed really hard at that last gig, you probably wouldn’t have gotten to the doctor and probably would not have discovered this until later. And that makes my chances worse.

Andy Andrist 1:26:07
Well, I think I was in the process to I don’t I don’t remember where I was, but I think I was at the very least had the MRIs scheduled and stuff. But, you know, yeah, bad, bad, you know. So it’s kind of fitting to that I would do a show for about six people and then fall down blackout drunk in front of, it’s like, that’s kind of a bookend with my career. That’s how it started. I forget there was a town and maybe billings or so town in Montana, where they really just didn’t care about the opening act or really anything but they just wanted to see the opening act should hammered. So they kept sending shots, and I did them all. And I remember closing with a gun, I’m gonna fucking puke and I ran to the bathroom. So I guess it would be a nice book and

matt nappo 1:26:57
yeah, we can’t think of that. But I do have some good news for you because and I know a lot of people gonna be like trying to be played doctor who never went to medical school and all this stuff. But I actually know some doctors who are very prominent and have worked in with the Whipple procedure. Yeah.

Andy Andrist 1:27:17
And I don’t like something that would happen in like a like some roller derby. Shit. Mr. Whipple, the whip. You know, the big fucking hogs. Grab the skinny girl and flinger into somebody else. That’s what it sounds like the whipple surgery in a maneuver. But yeah, and I talked to Coach, he’s an opera head coach of Auburn track is a friend of a friend. And he, he had the surgery done. He had every symptom, everything, every procedure and every symptom that I’ve had, and he sounds a lot like JB Smoove and buddies, I’ve heard he’s a religious guy, and you know that, but I had a good conversation with him. And he’s like, and I kept expecting a motherfucker. He was like, we are that we lucky ones. We are the lucky ones. Let me tell you that we the motherfucking lucky ones. It helped. And I think I said she at some point. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that’s just cuz he sounds like JB smooth. He wants to hear me, me go on, like motherfuckers really, you know, they’re gonna remove that motherfucker out of my fucking bio. Part of my fucking this. But he had all that done about two or three years ago. And, and, you know, he made it sound like, you know, no big deal, you know, go in there and he he’s a bit of an Exaggerator so he was like up in a couple of weeks. I’m like, okay, maybe a month, a month and a half. But it was comforting to hear somebody that had just gone, you know, gone through it and, you know, is on either side of it and doesn’t have diabetes and any of these other things that you know, came up in the discussion,

matt nappo 1:29:03
right? Well, it used to be a tough thing but now they say it’s so precise that the the only the biggest concern is going to be you afterwards making sure you behave yourself and don’t rip because that becomes a really you know, a tender area and you can’t do anything physical and you got to you know, not go out and piss in your yard in the middle and or even

Andy Andrist 1:29:25
know coke. I’m not going to ask him that. But uh, yeah,

matt nappo 1:29:31
somebody there to make sure you behave yourself.

Andy Andrist 1:29:34
Well, that’ll just I think my kids gonna bounce in for a bit but I mean, it’s gonna it sounds like a long recovery and at least you know like laying around and shit so you know, try not to binge watch every thing that’s available right now. Because I figure you know, yeah, I am just going to be kind of like fuck on a shelf for a bit and and, you know, I envision like a fucking you know, cabin overlooking the mountains and snow dropping and stuff and artists on my fucking couch couple of cats trying to squeeze me out of my spot

matt nappo 1:30:09
you have Stephen King right your recovery that’s right

Andy Andrist 1:30:15
I definitely could use a fucking hobbling I gotta find that cable from my phone in a minute here, but uh, well, that’s I was trying to get on the computer and shit. But then I, you know, I’m a podcast so sometimes you got to jump on other shit. Right? But I know how it goes. And I got a few minutes of like charge here but uh, if I hop up and run in there, grab a cable and you can fill the air with Christmas thoughts.

matt nappo 1:30:46
You can do that I can actually sing a song. Alright,

Andy Andrist 1:30:49
yeah. Which I just heard a couple heard again this morning and last night and I’m honored sir.

matt nappo 1:30:56
You wrote it I just put the words in order every every word and that song came out he

Andy Andrist 1:31:01
Yeah, well. Yeah. And I was fucking Oh, they’re dead. I dropped out I dropped this but that fell into there but uh, I I was like that was when I first got the stand and I could eat again. And and then I like fucking for some reason I was just I needed macaroni salad. I went to a Hawaiian place a couple of times. And then I would go to the deli and you know nothing that makes you feel dirtier than ordering macaroni a tub of macaroni salad and I tried to go just a spoonful and then I got maybe a little more yeah don’t stuff at all. Okay, that’s good. And then I go home. And one time I woke up at like three in the morning and and I went to this the little fridge and I didn’t even have a spoon. I just started fingering macaroni salad and my face like and I don’t even really care for that shit. So that’s why I thought there must be some sort of white trash fuckin cancer that needs to have macaroni salad fed to it to lose it.

matt nappo 1:31:56
I was thinking you could because you’re a mushrooms in the mac and cheese type of guy. Substitute right now so

Andy Andrist 1:32:03
I guess yeah, I’ll probably do more starting on hallucinogenics a little bit next week or two just again well I mean it’s I don’t have any real thing anything to take the edge off and and here’s the thing about this is I had a few times where I got a motion you know crying or whatever. And then i i Go what you know thinking what am I fuckin Who am I crying for? You know my crying because I didn’t dying my it’s a surprise. Like I’ve known you know, in fact, I’ve had suicidal thoughts. Oh, shit. All right. I’ll be right back. All right,

matt nappo 1:32:42
be right back. We’ll see if we get him ties. I want to play this song. I’m going to hate to get fucking serious with Andy but it’s okay to cry for yourself is what I’m going to tell him when he gets back if he gets back. It’s definitely okay for that. I think we shortchange ourselves on it should a lot. Is this the one yeah, this is the one I’m gonna play the song. This is a song that Andy wrote. I put the music to it and didn’t know he was writing it. Linda Allen had said Andy wrote about the maca macaroni salad thing that he had some kind of low a white trash low rank cancer window read that into somebody’s got to make a song about write a song about this white crash low rank cancer blues and I took that as an assignment this is it.

Got the blue yellow, red and blue Job flow red cancer blue it ain’t no

Yay I had to do that everything gonna be alright, cuz I know everything’s gonna be alright. Yeah. Well, before I don’t want to keep you serious because I don’t want to get emotional here, just for your sake, but I want to let you know that it’s perfectly okay to cry for yourself, man. Um, you need to just fucking let it out. It’s the healthiest thing you can do. And I

Andy Andrist 1:36:48
you know, I yeah, I just I analyze everything so when I cry I’m like who am I? Is this for me? Why am I doing this to me? You know, I’ve had you know there I don’t have a big bucket list of things I’m hoping you know, like, I wish things had gone a little easier. But there’s no reason to fucking carry on but I think it’s you know, I mean, the first thing that popped in my head was Oh man, I’m not going to be here for my daughter’s wedding. And, and all that but we went and saw Ghostbusters and and now I can see that even if I can’t be at her wedding. We can just get the guy who was the warden and Shawshank to play my body and then animate my head. And it’ll seem like I’m right there.

matt nappo 1:37:33
Well, Chad’s got a no good taxidermist. No,

Andy Andrist 1:37:37
y’all Yeah, Chad

matt nappo 1:37:38
could stuff yeah, we can. We can have you stuffed and like oh, you my

Andy Andrist 1:37:43
boy. This is a dude. Nobody Oh,

matt nappo 1:37:47
it’s got a voice. Yeah, he’s

Unknown Speaker 1:37:49
a crooner. And yeah, that’s how I knew I was in sang was getting to me as I called him. I said nobody wants to hear your whining you can’t and I shoved him out of my room. Spent the last week make it up to him like

matt nappo 1:38:07
oh yeah, I know all about that kind of stuff. Those Oh, I feel regret now for for the way I treated you

Andy Andrist 1:38:16
see nigh on everything, it’s like 17 years old but yeah, I mean, you know, I’ve very rarely ever been to him. And I felt that’s all for a cat man. Yeah, and he he kind of all he does is shift it’s sort of annoying but I you know, he’s like my old man he I let him out in whatever time it wants to go out there and then I just go look for him a few minutes later with us spotlight you know Oh, he’s got he’s fucking you know he he goes out and he just stands there and he doesn’t you know it’s like I thought you needed to piss you or you know nothing

matt nappo 1:38:52
Wow, no, my cats my wife is the cat lady. And we we have half cat but if we let them out they’re gone for like two months. So we don’t let them out ever they don’t run

Andy Andrist 1:39:03
Yeah, always we’ve always had you know even my my well my family growing up we’ve always had cats and they’ve always been in and out. Yeah, they like my cat cats will go out and well not Mr. squishes anymore but the other one you know murder shit. And it’s a bummer but it’s you know, see a cat a little cat, carrion and big rat and then and then about 20 minutes later it’s on your lap rubbing up against your face and and I couldn’t do the rat thing even close to me, but it seems better once removed. I just

matt nappo 1:39:40
off the guy. Let me give you a hug.

Andy Andrist 1:39:43
Yeah, yeah, I know. I know all about the Black Plague.

matt nappo 1:39:50
Wow. You mentioned before you’re a podcaster This is a surprise to me. I didn’t know you have a podcast.

Andy Andrist 1:39:57
Well, I must think so. I’m on One.

matt nappo 1:40:00
Right. But the question and I know this is a small concern to you, but people we count on that podcast, honestly, to keep their mental health in check. Are they expecting one today?

Andy Andrist 1:40:14
Yeah, we got one today. And I, I think we, we, Erickson mentioned that we’re going back up on YouTube for a while. I mean, we’re just because we kind of pulled it and without any notice. And, and and then we kind of, we thought we’d do more clips and shed or whatever we did, we just kind of lost our audience on YouTube to kind of grow our Patreon. And right now, we’re going to just ask that Patreon subscribers, if that, you know if they can, they want you to continue on, but we’re also going to make it free for YouTube for the foreseeable future. And, and hopefully, we’ll carry on and it won’t turn into you know, Andy’s health crisis updates, because I don’t, you know, I don’t want to get in, you know, I know how that would be as a listener. So I don’t want to you know, but it is, you know, I talk about what’s going on in my world. And that’s kind of overwhelmed my, my thinking for a while, but, uh, yeah, hopefully, we’ll get back to some fucking, you know, some fun ribbing, and move away from this, you know, the scare I had, which, you know, like I said, I think I’ll be fine after the surgery. So,

matt nappo 1:41:26
gonna get tired, you’re gonna get tired of talking about it, because everybody’s so concerned about you, they’re gonna ask you about it every time they see you.

Andy Andrist 1:41:33
That’s why I kind of wanted to, you know, like, I call Doug. You know, I called Doug, one to lighten the mood in the car with me and my daughter, you know, and we weren’t, it was just, you know, I had Erickson was one of them. And on and you know, Texas, Erickson, he’s a lot more, you know, you know, into his feelings, or whatever. And, and she goes, was that Doug? And I go, No, no, and let me call Doug. And I called Doug and I go, haha, I got cancer. Aha. He goes, Oh, you want a podcast? And, you know, I thought I could either, you know, not say anything to, you know, to a bigger audience, and have people you know, hear about it through the grapevine. And then they’ll call you know, like I talked to in men a couple, you know, people will hear about it. So I’d rather be in front of it, and just say, I got cancer. And here’s what’s going on, then to get you know, to feel those phone calls where I, I don’t mind the phone calls. I just don’t want to inform you know, like, here it is, here’s what’s going on on it. You know what, just listen to Doug’s podcast, I cover the beats on it, and then call me back. But, uh, yeah, so it’s like, you know, it’s like anything, like if you get it Dewey, or whatever, and people hear about that, and then that’s all your conversations or whatever. So hopefully, you know, people can want to talk to me about stuff can move past those, you know, that shit and just, you know, whatever they need to tell me you know, however, however this like I heard from Travis Lipski, I haven’t heard from him for ever and and I didn’t know who it was for quite a while and you know, so it’s like, you know, when when you hear this kind of thing about a friend or somebody that you you like or remember, or whatever, you know, you do want to kind of check in with them and I don’t mind that because I really don’t have a whole lot you know, going on right now.

matt nappo 1:43:27
Yeah, you Doug sounds like he reminded the his reaction reminded me of a friend I had and he just passed away but my friend Jeff when I got caught my another friend had a mail order bride from Russia, and I would do an acoustic show and this mail order bride from Russia did not know protocol, and she was she took off her panties and was rubbing her vagina all over my bald head on stage and my wife got the pictures of it. And I was furious and I got caught you know what there’s a girl rubbing it on your head and I went over to my friend’s house I said Laurie found found out about the girl rubbing the twine on my head the first thing he did was he went and got a bottle of bourbon and in April and put it right in front of me so you know we don’t need to talk about this. Okay

Andy Andrist 1:44:15
yeah yeah, no no need to keep this drum all bottled up. It’s talking about a high rate of speed. Yeah.

matt nappo 1:44:29
So are you planning on like putting getting a lot of shows in the can before you think totally you don’t let your fans feel like letting them down but people need to hear from you.

Andy Andrist 1:44:41
Yeah, I think until January 20th. I’ll be feeling normal. Right I can you know, weed for a while I wasn’t getting high so I you know, I I still smoked weed but I just wasn’t getting high. Yeah. Change when I go This stent and all this other poison leaked out of my system. So I can definitely, you know, smoke weed and, and, and, you know, talk about shit that pops in my head and hopefully I won’t be like, you know, what was me you know, here’s another thing, you know, I think I think I’ve, you know, they’ve established I don’t have or at least to be a surprise if I have it in other parts, you know, they’ve done enough scan. So really, you know, it feels like, I get the surgery, it’ll save my existence. And, and and then that’s it, you know that, like, they’ll eradicate what was in there and then I’ll be like, you know, back to semi healthy human being. And also know that my lungs are clear. My livers clear. So no, on the other side of this if I want to really, you know, drink heavy,

matt nappo 1:45:56
no, no, stop right there. This is an excuse like to go 90 miles an hour everywhere you go through life now and just think,

Andy Andrist 1:46:06
what if my reputation like my reputation is I’m a fall down drunk? And I’m more of a lightweight, but what if, what if I get on the other side of this and I can really change people’s perceptions like, not only am I a drunk, but I can also drink a huge amount of alcohol

matt nappo 1:46:25
you got a bad attitude with the with the long term vision of how this is gonna go, you should come out expecting to be another world champion drug user, you should just do what you need to, to enjoy the experience without getting to the point of where you’re going to get yourself in this position.

Andy Andrist 1:46:45
Right? Well, I mean, you know, in one, two, though, I mean, like the weed that we have been smoking weed since I was, you know, a teenager. And pretty much, you know, escalated through the years I haven’t curbed it. It’s gotten more and more. So I was definitely surprised to hear that my lungs were okay. And that’s, you know, fucking big tobacco. I don’t

matt nappo 1:47:07
mind on I don’t I can hear the wheezing at night, right?

Andy Andrist 1:47:11
Yeah, and I was like, I don’t feel like I’m, I’m in shape. Like you know, I you were talking about the runs that five K’s and I used to do 10 K’s all the time. Or not all the time, but a couple three for a year. And then I did completed marathons and stuff and now I can hear myself breathing heavy to walk up to the mailbox. And fortunately, I fought the war on the mail. So that I don’t have to go down the hill and then climb back up. But um, it’s you know, I felt like, you know, there was a part of my body that I ruined besides my penis. I would say my lungs. Yeah. And I haven’t I haven’t ruined my penis. I’ve just made it stronger. For wind resistant.

matt nappo 1:47:56
I don’t know how you how you do that. But hypochondria is contagious, you know and so everybody hears you saying well my skin was changing color and I had Batman I had liver problems are the big one now is I don’t want people thinking because I got a bet because she said I wasn’t getting high and this has happened to me and I don’t want people just assuming that if you smoke a ball and don’t get a buzz from it oh my god.

Andy Andrist 1:48:22
Well, you might want to check the THC content you might have got CBD you know there’s like a troubleshooting thing you know, how are you plugged in? Okay, so Okay, well alright then my next thing is you probably have cancer

matt nappo 1:48:40
hypochondria definitely is the most contagious disease going I mean I hear things and I’m always I’m looking at my skin color now. Do I need to change the lighting or am I getting sick?

Andy Andrist 1:48:51
Yeah, yeah and I really didn’t even notice it you know and my daughter come home and you know said I look like one of the Simpsons which is the go to for any white man and he’s turned jumped this Yes, yes. We do look like Simpsons and no we don’t like to be made fun of please stop yellow hate directed at White people who have liver failure. Need a subset? You know? Yeah, we’re not Simpsons. We’re alcoholics. And

matt nappo 1:49:21
so what if there is any benefit to you being having to be concerned with your own personal situation right now? Is it distracting you from any all the bullshit in the news? And yeah,

Andy Andrist 1:49:33
I stopped I don’t give a shit. Good. I like Rachel Maddow is tidbits and you know her storytelling and I don’t give a shit. I’d still like to see the Trump’s fucking tortured or something. But, you know, it’s like, you know, it’s kind of I guess it’s like every man for himself. When you find out you’re, you know, potentially got something that’s going to kill you in, you know, a reasonable amount of time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It’s like that and I’m in, I’m less likely to put up with shit from people. Like there’s a fucking hippie at this place me and my daughter, we’re waiting in line. It’s a real narrow, you know, and only probably two people should be in there waiting. And there was me and my daughter, we’re in there. And then this dude comes in, he’s like, joins the line. He’s talking to this young hippie girl, and he’s an old hippie dude. And he’s like, has a scarf and he’s like, just it’s not even about to go Hey, man. mask up, bro. You know, I mean, you know, it’s just, you know, I’m in a fucking bucket now. I can’t get fucking sick from this shit. And this guy was like, he kept talking up this girl and he just and I go, I go, I see your fucking nose Wavy Gravy. And then I go, you know, mask up, bro. That’s like, Here I am, like fucking confronting somebody on the ship. But I was like, you know, I gotta wear a mask. Everybody in here is wearing a mask. The people behind there. They got mask on. And this fucking guy thinks what he has to say to this. He said, It was like, I just moved to Eugene. But it just felt like destiny. Well, I live in Eugene and I didn’t want you to fucking change your destiny to get the fuck out of it. So I he stepped over to look at something and then both me and my kid wedged him out. So now he went from being second in line to fourth. And he just looked around and then he laughed, and he wasn’t gonna let it go.

matt nappo 1:51:27
But I’m gonna channel Erickson for a moment here. What he would say to you, I think and this is you definitely don’t need COVID But one thing you need even less than COVID is an ass beating from some white trash white dude. Yeah, you know?

Andy Andrist 1:51:45
Yeah. Walk away. And liver failure. Cancel my belly but I can still need an agent if he’s asked me you know you just grabbed a Husker that fucking hair that’s you know attached to a ball. How’s it even hanging in there anyway? Got a fucking bullet hanging from a bond spot I yard that down there it’s in and then kick. No,

matt nappo 1:52:13
no fighting because it’s not whether you can put a hurting on him. That’s not what I’m

Andy Andrist 1:52:20
what people fight cancer in different ways. And maybe fully fuckin hippie refuses to look out for my safety and other people’s safety. That’s fighting cancer,

matt nappo 1:52:30
right? I’m not gonna compare this to cancer at all. But I think you’re onto something there because I’ve had severe sciatica, where I couldn’t walk, and somebody pissed me off. And all of a sudden I was ready to fight them and get that adrenaline rush. And when it was done, the sciatica was gone.

Andy Andrist 1:52:45
Yeah. And this is off subject. But one time my, my daughter came back, she’s went to Colorado University, and she was at a football game and we were in I was wearing Colorado gear. She was and it was an Oregon Duck Game. Colorado, lose a close game. But this guy in front, my daughter two rows down, kept heckling back to her, you know, like I’m and then and he just won’t let it go. And then at some point, my daughter goes, What do you want to fucking fight me, you piece of shit. I’m a girl. And I was like, oh, so proud of her. And but then you have a you know, it’s like, when you say that you should have a plan. And you know, not that he would have needed it. But you know, because I was there. And I will fight anybody. If I have uphill position. You know, bleachers that you know, because I was already planning to throw a shoulder into this guy and knock him about six rows down. That’s how I like you know, I visualized fights like, you know, I don’t get in. I haven’t been in a fight and a long time. I can’t even remember, but I plan it. You know, like, they’ll grab that guy’s hair, shocking him down, kick him in the balls and then drag it. It’s like I was like four steps ahead. And this guy’s still deciding between vegan options. Wow. Uh, you know, don’t put that fuck I’m serious here.

matt nappo 1:54:08
I never had the luxury to plan it and I used to get into a lot of fights in the day and I thought about the number of ass kickings I got in my life. Add them all up. It would be I should be dead from the amount of ass kicking I can I yeah,

Andy Andrist 1:54:25
I didn’t. Well, I was a shitty or inattentive, defensive back. That’s the word for it. I was inattentive. And I didn’t always cover my guy perfectly or whatever. But you know, I had other shit going on, or whatever. But I played special teams. I love playing kicking team work and even kick receiving team. Because you could just that’s that and that’s how like if I was at a group of friends and there was going to be trouble. I always look for somebody not necessarily involved in the play. You know, somebody who’s like mouthing off but has a say had you know it’s like a sucker punches you know what I do like in in the kicking team, I would always deliver a big hit. And like the one the kind where the coach or watching film going that’s the way you hit. I was hitting a guy who was 30 yards away from the play and not watching it’s like that scene in waterboy

matt nappo 1:55:24
Oh, froze up. Oh, why,

Andy Andrist 1:55:30
and had no chance of getting hit and I would fucking level that guy not top or fucking the part of the play, but that’s how I would fight in a situation it’s like, you know, or anything is like I scan it look for the fucking the one that I could take down. And that’s who I’m going to fucking hit if it gets into it.

matt nappo 1:55:52
Well, I guess that’s the safe approach, but it never worked out that way for me. Before he talked I forgot I wanted to mention this today on the program, but you brought up psychedelics before, and the guy who called them before was with me 51 years ago today. I know this you know where you were the first time you took a psychedelic 51 years ago today we yeah, my did lie.

Andy Andrist 1:56:17
with some friends and cool a couple mushrooms didn’t really know what it was we went to like a Fred Meyers and, you know, I’ve learned that you don’t want for being high. Remember, like dogs that I could understand that dogs were communicate, you know, like I was really in tune with. Okay, that dog saying this and then the dog down the hills responded with that. And then he’s telling the dog down the hill that that was? And then I really do them again for years. I don’t know why they just said you know, we gave them to me. Yeah, and then I and then kind of as an

matt nappo 1:56:58
end up grabbing some Wi Fi troubles. Yeah. Anyway, 51 years ago today and

Andy Andrist 1:57:05
stuff in your head, just kind of, you know, demanding answers all at once or whatever. So you know, I now I can talk myself out of a bad trip and move. noodley

matt nappo 1:57:19
you know what, Andy, I’m going to try putting you out of the room and bringing you back in. Hopefully this works. We’re having some Wi Fi trouble here. Let me see if this works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s better. Yeah, we were having Wi Fi trouble. I fixed okay.

Andy Andrist 1:57:32
Yeah. But, yeah, like I you know, so I like you as a kid. I, you know, that amazes me, like, you know, if I would have gone that route, I don’t, you know, because I like the exploration in the learning curve of how to do it, you know, and maybe if I had done it as a youngster, I wouldn’t have appreciated it, you know, but I used to think if I do any hallucinogenics it’s going to be I’m going to find a ledge and I’m going to jump off it. I’m going to freak out. I’m gonna cry and I’ve done all that. But now I kind of go get a hold of yourself, man. rein it in. And then I can have a good time on the other end of it, but it’s like kind of, it’s like kind of challenging your brain it’s not like getting it to me it’s like challenging your brain to to follow the fucking the light path and not get distracted.

matt nappo 1:58:20
Yeah, well, I haven’t done it since 1987, anything like that. But well,

Andy Andrist 1:58:25
this year this year, and I’m saying this year at Panamint in you know, maybe you’re in an RV, or whatever, but we’re going to do it up big this year to Panama and it’s a perfect place to do hallucinogenic for anybody but uh you know, for

matt nappo 1:58:43
me No, I wanted I offered to pick up Craig in Albuquerque this year. I was going to go this year I had every plan on going and I asked Craig if you want me to pick you up and he said I can’t I’ll be back with those guys. Don’t tempt me and I’ll be back on the horse I’m doing mushrooms with him

Andy Andrist 1:58:59
Yeah, well maybe you’re in a better spot now Craig

matt nappo 1:59:04
but if you got if you guys do it again this year I’m definitely gonna go I got talked out of it by people. My cuz my Yeah, I was gonna drive cross country and they like your age. You’re gonna drive I don’t want to fly. A mask on was not my thing.

Andy Andrist 1:59:20
Your age you can stop at any place and get discounts let me throw out my AARP card here and get a 15% off our breakfast. Yeah, you eat early. You go to bed early. You know? Yeah, I’d say traveling old is the way to go.

matt nappo 1:59:44
Yeah, that

Andy Andrist 1:59:47
nobody wants to wake you and arrest hurry to rape you.

matt nappo 1:59:52
That’s not true. I had a 96 year old lady told me the other night and I’m sure if she could do what I wanted to

Andy Andrist 1:59:59
do. You won’t find yourself Rest here in Topeka.

matt nappo 2:00:05
Yeah, so but the thing about Panama, I think you got a book now if you really want to get a cabin or something, because

Andy Andrist 2:00:10
No, when, whenever we decide is, that’s what creates the demand. You know, I mean, if we we say it’ll be this week that you know, because I think it would be a great sitcom to just to see the inner workings of the crew and what goes on there on a day to day because it’s fucking fascinating. I don’t think anything goes on there until you know, there’s a group like ours, and then, you know, then they fire it up. But I feel like it’s almost like a doormat, you know, like that. It’s like, when you go well, I went, I went into the Mustang or ranch or whatever, and how they, you know, it’s like, you walk in, and then they all show up and present themselves or whatever. But you know, I would like to be in Not that I’d watched that stupid show, the cat house or whatever. But it’s more interesting to me what goes on when they’re not out? You know, here we are. You know, I’d love to hear the interview. I know that show was they showed you what they wanted to show you. One time I was driving through back from probably Panamint party or Vegas and and there was a horror horror house. I you know, that’s a crude term for it, or whatever. That’s what it is. Yeah, it was a hoarder house. And they advertised showers for truckers and, and breakfast. So and it was like 430 in the morning, open 24 hours. So I went in and hung out and I had a great time just having coffee and watching the You know, the four o’clock shift complain about the morning crew, you know, they don’t even wipe to come off of the walls, or whatever. And then when the tired old hag, there was she was served the coffee and behind the counter. And then I go I think I’m gonna go the shower. And then she asked, like, threw us like a fucking raspy cigarette voice company. And I wasn’t sure if she was on, you know, like she’s bringing up well, maybe, or it was PR. Either way I declined because I you know, it wasn’t there for making love. Or killing time. You know, and then having a nice breakfast, but that’s, you know, that’s what I like to hang out for, you know? Oh, that one time I went to Florida strip club with Doug’s mother and the dollar store and we were hanging outside waiting for the pussycat lounge to open. And when it did, there is a chick with a mullet. A lot of bruising. not blaming, you know, I’m not saying her old man beat her ass, but she did. And she had the old school aerobics Reebok shoes on and she got up and had her fucking floppy tits out. While she was cleaning the like she removed her top to wipe the pole down and stuff. Damn it, you know and excellent. Imagine being in a more a better strip. You know, like, I’m not a gentleman. And I don’t buy into the Oh, the gentleman’s in in the VIP lounge. I want to see a chick who’d been slugged around a little bit wiping off the pole with sitting also had a cigarette. Dang. I was like, I don’t need to see the rest of the crew here. I’ve gotten everything I need out of this.

matt nappo 2:03:25
I’m pretty sure that’s a sublime song. Yeah.

Andy Andrist 2:03:30
Yeah. And parts of that weekend were told in one at Doug’s books. Mother was holding the cocaine and

matt nappo 2:03:38
just a line just hearing the line. I remember going to a strip club in Florida with Doug’s mother. It’s just sent me like into Oh, yeah.

Andy Andrist 2:03:46
Well. We had I think it was like Keywest. And when there was three shows, one I did real well. And then the middle one was a people were threatening to get me. And like Doug jumped up there on stage that offend me. It was like, I was being heckled by Haitians, Cubans and fucking Irish cops. And that and that was only like, that was it. They’re like, 12 people. There’s three groups of four that were all hated me. And But Doug got up there yelled at the audience. And then he goes, Do you want to do any more time and I go fuck, no. And then he leans in and he goes, we’ve got coke and mothers holding

matt nappo 2:04:26
another line that has never been said,

Andy Andrist 2:04:29
I know. So yeah, like, you know, my mother was sober as far as I knew. And then Doug said she had cocaine so like, a mother. Let’s do some coke and went into the bathroom while Doug was trying to tame down the the uprising and did some big bump. She, she was like, you know, either rookie added or hadn’t held a bag in a long time. It was like really? Another one. All right, sure.

matt nappo 2:04:55
Oh my god. Imagine this stuff. Yeah flat Florida strip club alone I mean Florida strip club is all you got to say. I mean those two elements bring you to a very good picture but

Andy Andrist 2:05:11
yeah and 11am to you know before they even pretend to have left

matt nappo 2:05:18
well only thing that can make it a little bit more busy tell me it was a Sunday morning

Andy Andrist 2:05:23
I know Sunday was yeah Sunday I remember the regret regret and be enormous. Fucking yeah guilt that Sunday morning was and that was probably Thursday morning.

matt nappo 2:05:39
Well, you know, that’s what they that’s why they go to church on Sundays. You know, they build up all the sin and all week long and then they got to go and tell somebody that sorry.

Andy Andrist 2:05:49
Yeah. I just remember dropping off a friend made that night that wrestled with on the floor of the club, like old school style, you know, on fours and all that and and then I dropped this person off at a trailer she wanted to be dropped like up the road. Oh, did I say she was probably could have been a she I don’t know gender. I don’t like to label people. But the person often I didn’t like skywriting, but it was in a circular and it’s and then it said God loves you and it had a happy face. It was like that was like kind of like above that trailer. Wow Yeah. Wow. So

matt nappo 2:06:33
that’s what made it made you the believer in faithful

Andy Andrist 2:06:37
religion. That’s how I knew it was Sunday Sunday in Florida full of cocaine and this is the perfect time to drop some fucking cryptic bullshit above a trailer

matt nappo 2:06:51
well, they knew they wouldn’t know which shell it to go to to which is really telling in itself like super cheap. Hey Shay. And again I don’t want to label people but I’m guessing he or she whichever it was or in between must have a this situation going on every Sunday that the guy with the plane the god guy with the plane knew exactly what

Andy Andrist 2:07:11
to do with Dr. Martinez team has trailer the messages that she was at a show and had this dude who was like a friend and the message is this guy blew up her phone what that I heard were fucking fabulous. They went you know I’m a nice guys is worried about you and to you. You call me back ground you fucking cut you off. It’s always the way it is with us self identifying nice guys. Nice guy. They’re just waiting to cut the head off of the check. You know until she she admits that she likes him a little cutter fuck. That’s really the nice guy.

matt nappo 2:07:56
The era of social media has made that happen faster because people used to say, well, you don’t call me back within a couple of hours. I get pissed off. Now. If you don’t answer that text message within two minutes. They think you’re totally avoiding them. I love you. Where are you mad at me? You?

Andy Andrist 2:08:13
Yeah, yeah. Good Times in Florida. I did write a follow up on Doug’s book and just say now this is part Doug didn’t remember. That way weirder.

matt nappo 2:08:26
Funny, he doesn’t remember the podcast, because you were on with the drinking bros. Oh, by the way, fucking Fiat Spider. shit about that car. I love that car. I had a fucking perfect car, by the way, right? Like that. That’s not the car that you would pick. What are you gonna pick a Testarossa? And the guy’s gonna be able to avoid that. No, that

Andy Andrist 2:08:47
was there in Texas. So they probably I ball and Range Rovers or something. And they came out with a new version of that, like a few years ago. Yeah, so I was like originally thinking I’d asked my petty file who he does to set it up. I was promised by the guy who was molested me, you know, to try to keep the fucking spark going that he was going to buy me a car when I graduated. When I saw him 30 years later in Florida, I brought along my diploma. And was you know, in my mind, I kinda envisioned this car shopping. But I don’t want I no longer want that. 1984 ragtop I want the 2000 was it 2016 That they came? They want that’s what I want. But those plans kind of went up in flames and lawsuits and such. I don’t think we’ll be car shopping anymore.

matt nappo 2:09:40
That’s a damn shame because what is the deal? Right? And you got an associate’s degree on top of it, so I only think it’s gonna get serious.

Andy Andrist 2:09:49
Yeah, yeah. When the car salesman comes back in for me, Mr. Spleen sitting in there. That would be the undercoating talk. I would like the sports package upgrade and alter Yeah. I would I actually have my name on the I guess the glove box like he had his name on the glove box. That’s what I you know, I’d want to add to and then in a fucking coupons for sizzler Nice. Yeah,

matt nappo 2:10:25
I get it you branded? Yeah. You kept you kept up your end of the bargain.

Andy Andrist 2:10:30
Yeah, that’s the thing. I mean, and I’m still that way like this one a few years ago this guy bet me the outcome of Michigan State vers Oregon and I said, and he wanted to do money, and I’d like how about this football, my dog will fetch your football Michigan State verzorgen. And then the guy just didn’t pay, like my team one covered or whatever, and he wouldn’t pay. And I was like, Kevin every time you like, I’d see a Facebook post on it. And I’d write welcher. And I really didn’t give a shit about the thing. But it’s kind of like some sort of attention deficit or whatever it is. I remained focus until that guy gave me the football. And then I was like, moved on. And that’s kind of I got burned on, you know, underwear modeling gig and it 19 7980. And, you know, promises were made, and I fulfilled my end of the bargain. By graduating and then this fucking cunt won’t give me my you know, it’s like, it’s not extortion. It’s like, let’s just buy me the fucking car. And then we can have the conversation about all the other shit. When you were two

matt nappo 2:11:35
years of interest. 35 years of interest on top of that, yeah,

Andy Andrist 2:11:39
yeah. And all that. And then like, you know, hey, you know, probably cost you a lot to get, you know, therapy or whatever. No, I didn’t do therapy. But let’s lump in a cup, let’s say 100 grand from the time I was 14 to the time, you know, I got over it or whatever. So yeah, he owes me more than a car. And I felt like it was more than fair, that we just settle on the car, because that’s the that’s the fucking Michigan State football to me. But he kind of, He scoffed at it. I felt like that was a moment where he’s kind of like, like, you know, okay, sorry, motherfucker. Kochi. Oh, high school, didn’t have great academics. But I graduated I was, you know, I was in the top 100.

matt nappo 2:12:26
That guy doesn’t appreciate the good deal that you because that is you don’t get that’s a very easy out and easy payment for the for the crime he committed. And then that is the cheapest best bargain. he’s ever going to get a car and a credit card. What $30,000 A time? Yeah, that’s a great deal. He’s,

Andy Andrist 2:12:46
he’s gonna take that. Yeah, he’s a you know, he likes to roll out like he had money and shit. He lives in a community. That’s like, you know, okay, you know, I mean, it’s he walked away. It’s like, you know, okay, man, the lawyers are gonna make that fucking car and then some. And as it turned out, he had to pay for several lawyers, and he had to pay my lawyers eventually. And he had to pay his lawyers any any kind of lost. And what he lost is, is, you know, that he, he lost control of that fucking narrative. And I filmed him. And I told him, I filmed him. And I can do what I want with that, you know, and what I did was I put it on a real slow burn, Paul, for Vince is making a movie, but it’s, it’s been 10 years or so. And it’s like, you know, that guy’s probably still alive, wondering if Paul’s ever going to finish the project and so my, or whatever, but I you know, that that’s got to be a bummer to have that hanging over him, or, you know,

matt nappo 2:13:45
definitely was to have the fear of where, where you might release it and all that kind of stuff is gonna be worse than when it really actually happens to him. So in a way, that’s the worst torture you can have. Have that hanging over his shoulder and

Andy Andrist 2:14:01
you’re like to kind of there I talked to Todd Snyder’s management about using the song too soon to tell for like, you know, just and then the band twiddle is agreed to let me use a song or whatever, I’d like to still this guy, the my molester. He would play ELO when, you know, he had a great stereo and crank up ELO and I kind of just was overwhelmed by the music and didn’t you know, I didn’t like it. But I would i There’s a song on it. Called caught in a trap. It’s a V side. Whatever. So it’s like an ELO song that nobody’s probably ever used. And I would love to have that just so I could have that in there to stick it to them to like, hey, you know, your favorite band back then. lent me a song. You dick. Well, I’m

matt nappo 2:14:50
gonna get I’m gonna get that for you as a Christmas present to be able to hear but I’m gonna reach out today, but um, what can we do to help prevent to get this done? cuz I have access to like video editors production tweets, what does he need?

Andy Andrist 2:15:04
I feel like Paul’s, you know, he’s got he’s got a lot of it done, he does all of it in himself. And it’s like his backroom is is, is, you know, full of stuff that I sent him. And I feel like he’s just kind of, I feel like the timing is perfect. You know, this thing happened 10 years ago or whatever, where I confronted the pedophile. That’s when I flipped the script on my whole, my whole brain at that point, because I eat that guy used to fucking live rent free in my brain. And then I felt like I even the odds,

matt nappo 2:15:41
even rent free in his brain thinking, when’s that shoe gonna drop?

Andy Andrist 2:15:45
Right? And yeah, and he used to have shoes with the brace built into them. So if his shoe drops, it’ll also have the thing of extra fucking here. But you know, and kind of like, right at the beginning, I did it for revenge, I stopped the camera on him because he stuck a camera on me. And I wanted to just straight up get revenge on him. And then Paul started talking more seriously about, you know, using it and making a film out of it. And then that kind of, you know, and then I’m involved with that. And, and that’s a weird way to get over, you know, did this fucking drastic therapy. And now I’m turning it into a project. And then now getting, you know, fucking cease and desist letters and the, you know, threat of lawsuit. And that could have ruined me, you know, I couldn’t lose to that guy a second time. And then I had to go sit in a courtroom with him on a like, it was like to I left home on Christmas, flew to there. And so like New Year’s Day, I’m sitting in a courtroom with my pedophile, and it’s like, five or six people in the courtroom. And it’s like that motherfucker. So I had to really get belly deep in the whole fucking thing. And years past, and I kind of forgot about the project. And then I didn’t want the project to happen. I begged Paul out, you know, it’s like, let’s fucking throat you know, and we got he called me. Fuck you. God dammit, you’re a fucking artist started acting like one. Oh, loosely reheated. You know, that was basically saying, you know, I know, You’ve spent about seven years on this, but let’s fucking throw it in the dumpster man.

matt nappo 2:17:27
No, I Well, I can appreciate your, your take on that. And I can also appreciate his take on that it’s a different Yeah.

Andy Andrist 2:17:35
And we become really good friends throughout all that. And, and I want to, I want it to happen for both of us, you know, because and I, you know, and I don’t even like a deed for like, oh, go, you know, maybe get more gigs or whatever. You know, I don’t give a shit about any of that. It’s like the news to me anymore. You know, but I want it to succeed. I want you know, I want to see what Paul did you know what? And I think Paul’s you know, he’s called it his opus. Right? So he’s putting his fucking heart into it. And I think what we need at this point is, you know, well, I said, I put him on a deadline. I called call up and I called him, you know, yeah, I got cancer and all this. And he’s like, God, damn, you know, what are we you know, and I go, I’m not calling to tell you this. As a friend, I’m calling to tell you this as a filmmaker, you’ve got your ending, man. Get a camera crew up here. We’ll be in and then when they don’t come out, and you know, that’s wrong. To Todd Snyder.

matt nappo 2:18:35
But I’m serious, though. I, you know, I know. You probably get people just and it’s a pain in the ass sometimes. But I would do anything if Bob needs me to fucking be a laborer to come out there. Well done.

Andy Andrist 2:18:49
And I think, you know, from a practical standpoint, I think we’re, he’s getting pretty close. And then it’ll be like, like, what I ran into with the comedy special, you need to have, you know, you need to have somebody do this, this, this and this. And I, like we’ve had people we’ve had a, well, we had one person come in as a producer, and he just ripped off. He just, he just, he got money, use my story got money, and then he used it as his own ATM. So then it was like, that was the guy who’s pushing, you know, let’s do this and this. And, you know, and then I think both Well, Paul’s a lot happier not having somebody fucking bother him. And when the time comes, I think we are going to hit we’re gonna do a fundraising effort to raise the cost of to finish it out. Perfect. You know, the way Paul wants to? I feel like it’s almost all there. So yeah, I think you know, when when we get clear of things or whatever, I think we’ll probably do a push to get either some producers or a pot of money to finish it and you know, not like 100,000 More like, you know, 30,000 or something like You know, I don’t know. But I feel like that, you know, Paul’s not far from it. And I feel like you know, the timing of everything is kind of, you know, it’s like he can’t change the timing sometimes. That sounds weird, but but, you know, it’s like, five years ago, I would have been eager for this thing to be done now. I don’t you know, I’m not motivated by any anything like, you know, want to tour bonds or, like, you know, I did tell Inman the other day that if I don’t die a cancer, me and him will will come out your way. I said, let’s get my dog on this. And we’ll we’ll go out to Long Island. And we’ll do a gig out there and he goes, alright, you promise?

matt nappo 2:20:44
I’m definitely on that. Man. I got a theater all set up for it. And I’m thinking of an actual, like, a three or four man show, but that was definitely in my mind for after your after. This is all in your rearview mirror. So

Andy Andrist 2:20:57
there you go. It’ll work out and then I can put that Falco’s show behind me, but

matt nappo 2:21:04
Falco’s because we had we had a titty bar. That was actually called Falco’s and you say, I remember you saying that. You wouldn’t call it Teddy by that, but we had one.

Andy Andrist 2:21:13
Yeah. felters maybe.

matt nappo 2:21:19
It was like an old man buy that they turned into a titty bars, and Falco was the original owner, and they never changed the name of it.

Andy Andrist 2:21:29
There’s a billion teams out there and shouldn’t be one of them. All right,

matt nappo 2:21:32
we’re coming up on 230 and 1030. Here, I’m gonna end it there. But I want to honor it. Everybody wants to help. And you know, this, and I know, you’re kind of feeling like an awkward place here. And I don’t want to I don’t want to make you feel awkward about this. But people do want to help because we know, as a comedian, you don’t have the best health care coverage. You don’t have Trump coverage. Nobody.

Andy Andrist 2:21:57
I mean, maybe Congress does, but you know, I pay five or 600 a month for health insurance. And I get in there and so I’m in a position now where you know, my wife’s on disability and I’m going to probably have about nine or 10 grand in bills on top of what insurance pays with if I didn’t pay for insurance, I’d have money to pay for the other so if you know if that’s if people wanted to help and donate or however that does I know Brett Brock’s doing something can Harris is doing something and I’m going to bank all that money and use it to cushion to cushion against this fucking you know, the $100 co charge here. You know, the surgery and all that shit. It’s it’s a fucking heartbreaking thing not just for me, but for people that you know fucking try to you know, I’ve got insurance but it doesn’t cover when you’re sick, you know, covers part of it. But why the fuck doesn’t cover everything. I wouldn’t need help and people could help other people. But yeah, it’s, I appreciate all of it. It’s kind of overwhelming. Because I’m, you know, I’m not somebody who’s like, Oh, I got this helped me out, man. But I feel like, my back is against the fucking wall on this.

matt nappo 2:23:08
No, I and I applaud everybody to kind of think about this health care. Insurance is something you pay for if you don’t need it, but once you need it, you’re fucked. Because, you know, no, insurance is going to cover all this stuff. And the last thing we should be thinking about right now, right now you’re gonna fucking pay for all this shit and be worried and have tension and anxiety about that.

Andy Andrist 2:23:29
You’re getting shoved into the MRI tube is like, how many fucking pictures are you taking a couple would be good. I don’t want to pay for it. I don’t want to get in a situation where I’m paying for 10 photos. And we’re only looking at two of them. But yeah, that’s the thing. And and, and I don’t feel like I have that stress. It’s weird because I you know, I, I don’t want to get emotional either. But people have stepped up and it’s like, okay, I don’t have that worry right now. Other worries,

matt nappo 2:23:57
I’m adding to it. And just to let people know, I’m working on a new five OC three real nonprofit so that we can donate 100% to you of the money that comes in, and people could still use it for a tax write off. So that should be in place by the second week of January that will be there’ll be a button for it on You want to give it to Andy directly for these medical costs stuff. And you’ll get 100% of it. No, nothing taken off the top no bullshit administrative costs. And you can use it as a tax write off so and I’ll help you to Kitty to get it’s tough.

Andy Andrist 2:24:34
Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, I haven’t. Yeah, I know. It’s it’s been kind of a you know, like the thing my daughter’s car got ripped off and people you know, I wrote something people helped put that, you know, it’s like a real fucking bummer, you know? And then it’s like, you know, my daughter’s done so many cool things for people. It’s like, well, this is coming back, you know, so it’s like, yeah, so I’m

matt nappo 2:24:58
hope we don’t make a religious guy out of you. After all this stuff, you don’t you don’t end up being a believer because

Andy Andrist 2:25:05
hey, if I if I die and there’s some sort of god entity, I’ll be like, What the fuck are you? Oh, shit, man.

matt nappo 2:25:13
Yeah, no, I can imagine how that would be a shock. I had a guy on last week who was gonna prove the existence of God, but he left angry. He’s a little angry at me now talking about cease and desist letters.

Andy Andrist 2:25:32
So he did prove the existence of God tree lawyering.

matt nappo 2:25:36
Exactly. No, but the atheist stepped up to help a guy in need that day. So I thought that was a AHA justice on that kind of show. The the atheist sit stepping up to help a guy get his medicine and gas money and all that food.

Andy Andrist 2:25:51
Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. I’ve seen Doug Stanhope do more acts random acts of kindness than anybody from my church upbringing. And ever done, you know?

matt nappo 2:26:02
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I appreciate getting to talk to you today. You know, there’s an outpouring of love for you. But there was before you just didn’t notice it now that now people are being vocal. But

Andy Andrist 2:26:13
yeah. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than accepting that you’re loved by others. I know.

matt nappo 2:26:18
And especially so many people, I mean, seriously, I know that to blow smoke up your ass, you’re a gift to a lot of people big issues with Andy dropped about 40 minutes ago, and people say but breaking those. Yeah, issues with me that they look forward to Friday, like, and your show, like, it’s a life line to them. So

Andy Andrist 2:26:39
well. And that’s, that’s why I’m glad, you know, in the, in the short term or long term that we’re back on YouTube, because I you know, I mean, I know, I don’t like going behind paywalls. And, you know, and if, if, you know, the people who were with us before, you know, can enjoy that, I appreciate that. They’re, they’re able to do that. And hopefully we can come up with a way to keep Patreon. You know, interesting or, or whatever. But, uh, yeah, so I, you know, it’s like, I’m used to being a comic and going around, and having, you know, people like what I do, and also the complainer’s and all that shit, and through this, you know, doing the podcast that, you know, kind of grown a bit of a family and I may not No, a lot of them, but they know who I am. And I appreciate that, that what I blather out or say or do is entertaining to folks so

matt nappo 2:27:35
and everybody’s going through this with you so you have the support of anybody and again, not to end on a downer note here but if you need any support from anybody don’t feel embarrassed about asking for it man, you’re human. You I know you’re the strongest man on the planet for all you’ve been through and still continue to keep a sense of humor. I applaud you for that but I you know you don’t expect people to think that you your don’t have your tender moments man, we love you and yet you can you can get you can get as emotional as you want ever and nobody can hold it against you.

Andy Andrist 2:28:05
Yeah, now after I get done here and cry, I’ll blame you. Why am I crying? Because

matt nappo 2:28:11
I’m like the Barbara Walters of comedians I make every comedian cry.

Andy Andrist 2:28:15
Yeah, mine dog mind fuck maybe. Yeah. Well,

matt nappo 2:28:19
Chad has agreed to come on the show and I think he has been reluctant because he thinks I am the bad guy who can make him cry and and kind of expose his inner psyche Yeah, well, but I’m not

Andy Andrist 2:28:36
Yeah, I said Well, we did the our show and or Death Valley. We did a podcast there and I had I had Shaylee crying but it’s not one that we’re we decided not to air it. That would have been the best rated one now maybe maybe maybe with the proper I don’t know. I’m not sure what I know. There was a couple of stories I told you know, but Patreon we may put that up at some point it was a you know, but uh, I felt like I was a preacher like Shaylee was kind of on the edge she’d been on drugs for hours and I feel like cracking you know?

matt nappo 2:29:11
And he said

Andy Andrist 2:29:15
like Sam Kinison. You know, raising your boys lower in it. And then you know, so yeah, I got I know I can track my team if I need to. Oh, I

matt nappo 2:29:24
love that. I love you got you got to do some of that just for the ratings. Just just those numbers as well. You have a great day, man. Great. All right, sir. I appreciate it. And you’re celebrating have have have a joyous one. Well, I’m going to get pizza

Andy Andrist 2:29:39
to hobos. So that’s how I’m doing Christmas Eve and beer. Of course,

matt nappo 2:29:43
not gluten right now.

Andy Andrist 2:29:45
Now in fact, even I’ve even talked about a second class system where we get a better pizza for ourselves.

matt nappo 2:29:56
Be well, man and have a good one. Thanks. Love you Dog Have a good day Bobby to buy the fabulous Andy understand folks great to have him hear from him and know that his his sense of humor hasn’t been diminished in the least anyway. I got to get to work I got not work I don’t have a show today I have to actually get to work and go do some traveling to pick up some some stuff for the holiday celebration here. Hope you have a great holiday. Thank you for joining me thank you for sticking with me for on the overtime. And for all you do everybody have a great Christmas holiday or wherever you’re celebrating for people who celebrate Kwanzaa on Sunday, Canadian Boxing Day whatever the hell that means that the day after Christmas or day after Thanksgiving, I don’t know. But the kidneys have a special day on the 26th they do up there whatever the hell you do up there, do it well have fun, all that kind of stuff. And so until Monday I’ll be back with your hour everyday next week. So join me then Monday 9am for coffee with the dog till then I’m Matt nappo for coffee with dog bye for now man. I hit the wrong fucking button you see that? You see what he made me do? Round Round Listen to me, listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

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