Fidel Beauhill is a Life and Relationships Coach, better known to his clients as The Modern Man Coach. His work revolves around guiding men (and some women) through difficult times in their lives – particularly divorce or midlife crisis – by helping them to understand and love themselves. The way in which he builds his clients up allows them to accept love from others in a much healthier way, and figure out the kind of relationship they want to be in.
Fidel’s debut book ‘Divorce: A Modern Man’s Guide’ is set for release November 2020. The book is about stepping into your masculine energy and taking the lead in your divorce, for the wellbeing of
The world has changed greatly over the course of our generation. Whilst we still don’t quite have gender equality, things have become a lot more equal.
Many modern workplaces and businesses don’t require the traditional male skill sets any more. They require communication skills and networking skills, ‘softer’ skills, if you like.
Women have been having conversations and supporting each other through the transition from homemaker to company director, full time mum to combat sports gym empire owner, but we, as men, don’t seem to have come together to figure out where we fit into this new landscape.
How do we balance our masculinity with being the caring considerate husband/partner/ father?
Some of us have figured it out on our own or with help from our parents, but I feel that what we really need is a community where we can have some important conversations in our own space.
This shouldn’t be antagonistic. This is not about us v them. Happy, confident men and boys equals happy confident women and girls. Win win – on so many levels.
3 Things To Lead A More Fulfilling Life – Ryan Stanley – Life & Self Leadership Coach
00:00:00 – 00:05:03
Want to lead a more fulfilling life. We’ll talk about it on this episode of the Mind Dog TV podcast. And welcome my friends yet another episode of the Mind Dog TV podcast on mcnabb. NAPA. Thanks for coming. It’s great to have you here as always on a Monday afternoon. It’s a beautiful day out here in Long Island New York We are expecting a hurricane or at least a a tropical storm Later, this week on Wednesday. So I’m not sure how that’s going to impact the program I. Have a problem with the way they named this. with everything going on, you think they would take it easy on idiots like me who have trouble pronouncing stuff and make a hurricane name. Easy to pronounce I’m just going to call it the hurricane because I can’t bother with Isaiah. Or whatever it is Hopefully, it won’t be too bad and it won’t damage in too much too much damage her too many people I’ll, of course, one is too many but we’re always worried this time of year with the hurricane season here on the east coast and just hoping for the best will keep you apprised as we know more about SAS assesses My sponsor today is mountain made CBD mountain made CBD features, Hemp, and CBD products mostly for athletes, their unique products, stores where They help with products that. athletes with training, recovery, and aches, and pains, and all that kind of stuff. Great products, check it out. Mountain made CBD. There will be a Lincoln the description, and thank you for patronizing my sponsors. Today’s guest is a long lifelong entrepreneur and he has a strong background in Professional Life Business and Internet coaching He is a guy who kind of makes is living off of helping people get their lives together. So I it’s an interesting kind. Kind of a dynamic, we’ve talked about mindset in these kinds of things before i. it’s always good to get a fresh perspective seemed like as a lot of people out there right now in this business of Light, life coaching, but it’s always good to get a fresh perspective from new, people He has written his first book which I believe you can actually get a free copy of by signing up for his man with. So I, if you’re. In need of life coaching and want to get a free consultation will. Hook you up with that ability today. So without further Ado, let’s stop messing around here. Folks up your ears, open up you mind and helped me welcoming Ryan Stanley to the program. Ryan welcome to the mind, the TV podcast. Thanks for come and Matt Truly. My pleasure man. Thank you so much for having me Berlin. Lord. All. Weekend. Long. Where are you located? In Jersey, I live maybe forty, five, fifty minutes west of the city. So. You’re going to get it before before agnew. Actually I’m in Long Island so. We’re ready. So this idea of life coaching Seemed to be a big push for that in a lot of people are doing that now. Why? Why? Why do we need more life coaches now than we ever have before? I think well, I will probably a numbers game, the grand scheme of things, right? There’s more of us but I think also I mean really just twenty twenty and generally that has been so much upheaval. Right? I think more people are starting to grow in the past decade are starting to. Really go through their struggles through the trials, go through tribulations and understand through that they. They obviously learn a lot of let life lessons and they at some point, make the other side through their struggles, and at that point, want to be the person they wish they had in their life when they’re younger for other people. And so as they’re starting to go through their own growth in step into their own greatness, they want to see others to do the same. Said I. One I want to start by by apologizing advance. If we get some noise I have a very disrespectful family today the kids home from school and we’re. Taking that and the mother and is yelling in. The dog might be barking. I’m the second oldest of ten. I’ve got a nine year old and a six year old I. Couldn’t hear anything anyway. But not not not not bothered by. Is I’ve asked him to be quite a couple of times when I keep hearing that they’re getting louder over there. So I wanted them to hear me tell you that and hopefully. so.
00:05:04 – 00:10:00
People are Generally, looking for answers in a lot of things and I posted, then there’s so many questions but. Very, few answers right are, but I think one of the biggest bothering Yoyo from your expansion. Correct me if I’m wrong in this is deci idea of purpose in life and and a lot of people get caught up in not really even thinking about their purpose and defining it in in a way that is tangible. A lot of people live their lives I’m GonNa, get a job. I’m going to make a career out of it. I’m GonNa, Punch a clock or whatever I do for for thirty years or so, and then handed off to my kids and I really have no legacy at no purpose in my life You find that to be to. You interestingly, enough I think that’s used was truer in the past I. Think you know there were generations previous door that was actually something that you could do whereas now I mean not that you would want I mean. Taking that that the concept of a purpose aside, that was regular thing for people to have a career thirty forty years and stayed the same business and it was almost like it was an option or an opportunity. Okay. I’m going to be going to work until I’m done, and then I can retire safely with us. Not The case much anymore. Anyway I think as that has changed in so many. Many different ways and and people’s careers at in specific businesses or companies tend to be shorter than the full forty years or whatever people are starting to seek more purpose and people are getting laid off or people who lives they’re changing so that they’re starting to recognize and ask themselves questions. What is this all about? What is like? What do I have a purpose? What is my purpose? Right and? Is that something you help them kind of work their way through because, I, started bat thirty five years ago with my son and my nephew, and I’ve told this story before. But I, started asking what they were passionate about as young boys, and then they couldn’t identify and it. It could be something as simple as don’t think about job, what are you passionate, but what do you love to do and and identifying that was a difficult task for both of them and and my nephew would still to this day I talked him. He started thirty eight now I. Think. No and he still. Hasn’t really define. Sometimes, it’s a number of things right and I agree a hundred percent I talked to my children about it all the time into your point. It doesn’t necessarily. You’re a two point early people get caught up in Oh my gosh, do i. have to have my purpose for the rest of my life. It just seems. So don’t how do I know what that? My Gosh. Forget it. I’d rather nothing there as if a lot of pressure. So, with my clients me, we really we we sometimes, it just comes down to what is your purpose for today. Why is the best possible version of yourself today? What does that mean to you? and. Then even from their people get caught up on my gosh. That seems like a lot like there’s a whole day. What what? What is the best that seemed like too much. So sometimes even just to give people the option. Okay. So it doesn’t have to be the best version what might be a purpose for you today. and. When you remove the need to have an exact answer has to be right or wrong as much as it can really just come from a creative space from the right side of your brain. You can generally be more curious. What is the best purpose for my today? and. Attract that. If you if you may first of all a couple I mean I would say dial back. What I worked with my client is we really do make time to decide what you want your life to look like get out of don’t don’t get caught up in what it’s GonNa take to get there as much as if I could live every single day the way that I, want to what would that look like? You know we get clarity on that. But then going back to one day time do decide what is my purpose for today, and how can that align with the potential best day I could ever have. And when you start do this every single day, it starts to compound and you start to get. My purpose for Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday with like a kids standpoint was to be the best minecraft player that could be. Some fried and you say, okay, how can I use that to serve my purpose to be a better son or to whatever it is? You. Can they start to add up? You decide how you can make it the best for yourself? Oddly enough in today’s world, you could That could be a really good career decision I. Came to me because that’s my son. WHO’s nine? He says, he said to me, dad is actually about all share real quick coming from entrepreneurial family. He has been there as like dad. When I’m eleven, can I be a Youtuber with a? You know a video game and show people how to do minecraft and I said I was, of course, many have. We could definitely got two years to figure it out. He goes. Okay. I’m going to need a logo I’M GONNA. Need some merch already. RUN OUT DOESN’T DAD’s my son. But yeah, absolutely right I mean decide what you want to be in today’s Day and age where you have a phone, we have a smartphone and you can get out to people on all these different social media platforms in an instant for free. If you start making a decision about who you want to be in what your message might be, and you start sharing that as often as possible, he’ll start to step into it. You’ll start to attract people in. In. Your life that you want to and that in itself may devote more than understanding what your purpose might be. Right. Well, the reason I brought that up and said that it could be a good career choices I.
00:10:00 – 00:15:00
think at least in my generation in probably heard degeneration that followed me the idea was that if it seemed like child’s play or just seem like not something a man would do or what do don’t pursue it because or. Put it aside when you grow up because that’s child’s play a whatever, and there wasn’t a living in that and you always have to think about what what have had to do for a living and I think that just that mindset and we’re talking about mindset that lines of I, have to I have to plot a career or as a as a young man than think, Oh, you know what is the purpose? I and and how do I get on what’s really going to make me happy. As a goal in life, rather than this is the job I’m going to fill and I think that might be changing, but the world I grew up in. I think it’s a combination things, I think. So it’s definitely changing I think more and more people are aware that can get paid to have fun I think there’s also just with the the amount of this may seem like an obvious statement with the amount of information that is available on the Internet. Right? It’s a different generation of people. If they have questions about different type of careers I, think when you and I were maybe growing up, you Kinda you kinda learn from other people. People or maybe you went to library, maybe went to a college or specialty school to kind of get that information, and is like by then you already made the decision because you’re right there to kind of already stepping into it and had that pressure before him do it where now at sixteen years old, you can go on youtube and you can start learning different philosophies. You can start learning different concepts. You could start learning different crews. Are you had no idea about maybe six months ago? You might find some that aligns with your vibe and who you are, and so there’s more between to learn what is actually possible out there, and then if if you’re if you’re able to push past fear of what others might think of you for pursuing you love and you step into it every day. That’s where greatness comes from. A Do you find that People, sometimes want to put this kind of politically correct I. Don’t know why I’m struggling find a an worth wile purpose in and put their life energy towards I’ll give you a perfect example of what I’m talking about had a kid on the other day at call twenty, two years old, which is a kid to me. He his reason for being on the show. He wanted to talk about an attack that he alleged happened to him, which was a hate crime and assault and all that stuff. But he started the show in very entertainment type of fashioned within a charity spun around. He had this mask on like it was making a big joke. Adamant is an entertainer music maker and they coming on to talk about being a victim of a crime, and we started asking the question about them about that, and he said I gotta get famous as you know quicker or else, and I said fame is the goal and yes, absolutely famous going and you know I don’t think famous a worthwhile some. You know something to shoot for goal is shoot for fame is a byproduct of doing something while adding value to people’s lives and vay celebrate you, and that’s how you become famous. So the question I’m asking a lot of people get caught up in this. They don’t really think it through and they put this goal out there. That’s really meaningless in in the end, you know fame in in the self is not. Not. A reward for anything. Really Right. I mean, they’re pretty famous people there who live some awful awful lives, right So famous itself. So what I would ask that that guy is I would say listen famous your goal like what will fame give you right and typically they would say something like well, I’ll give me wealth will give me happiness illiterate. Cool. So then that’s your goal. Right? Right. Right. That’s. That’s a great way to kind of elicit that information because I was stuck on that. Trying to lecture ’em from my point of view that. Yeah. We all get caught up in that when we’re young. Yeah, it would be great to be. You know I, put the two together rich and famous. But at some point you grow up and you realize that There needs to be, what am I going to be famous for and and what? What value am? I adding dirt. Well, because that’s what you’re going to be famous for in the end So. I and I would say really, and this is weird things that again, sometimes it just from my experience takes life to learn right, and so there’s a level of maturity that happens as we age and as we have different experiences you know and you hear a lot of younger person. That’s like really just you know if you if you’re happy if you choose happiness than the other stuff will follow right? If really focus and I heard that a lot but really been spending so much time in the past year or two really focused on the now like recognized that right the single second. Second is all they’re actually ever is an when we decide to make it our intention to create happiness in every one of these. Now’s as possible. We start shooting. What makes me happy? How can I create joy and gratitude from within intentionally I? We talk about mindset the mindset of gratitude and create elevated emotions that actually make you happy. Now, no matter whether you’re rich or famous or not.
00:15:00 – 00:20:06
You’re just happy to the to exist and to be around the people you are, and then when you combine that with intentions of being famous or a, whatever it is that you decide you want to do. Not, only are you moving towards it because you’re not blocked by fear and you’re not blocked by negative energy. That is of things typing to you as opposed to happening positive things happening for you. You’re enjoying the journey more as you’re creating joy and happiness in every moment that you can and working towards what you want to do, and sometimes what our goal is. When we think it’s going to be by creating the path there we realize on the goal is not what we wanted anyway. But have we not started. We wouldn’t figure that out right and. Your life purpose can change you go through this of of life You can find things that while that this really inspired me now and I’m not so interested in that path I was on before. and. You take somebody who’s like as able. I would always use like when I was seven like I loved Gi Joes, right. So I mean that it sounds silly. But as a seven-year-old like a cool, just hang out with gi joes or or wrestlers or whatever. All these different things, right? That’s not who I am. I’m not even the same person. I was six months ago. Never mind ten years ago. Robert. De Back, and there are certainly people who know feel they know what the purposes in early Asian they focus their entire life on it and I would say that’s probably Probably few and far in between, and even those people at some point just because life changes the world changes, society changes You know someone who might have been interested in being on a like a DJ like the only option twenty years ago, thirty years ago was actually go out and go through. You know more of NOCCO through causes get a job and get a hold get hired by radio perhaps whereas now people like yourself can create gone, their own content can create their own shows. Can you know it’s a whole different world? So your goals could change your path can change. Your point earlier as long as you’re in my opinion, if you’re being the like that you want to see long you know in the world along the way it’s a giant scenario, right? So did I get it right in the Inter that you can get the book for free? It’s called a beep. Be Patient. Be Present. Be Joyful. and. You get that for free on your website act absolutely free. There’s there’s an e book for free. Right Right Yovany. You can buy it on my. You can buy physical copies of small booking guyq carry with. It’s a hand look. So it’s called a a a first aid kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life or. Death what the first eight simple I was GonNa ask you what? What’s that simple? So I’m not like a huge reader like I. Love Personal Growth, Love self-development. But you know I get like ten pages in my brain starts kind of reading the same page over and over again, I? Get distracted and. I think that’s the epidemic in in society. These days You know reading to be a loss, I in one of my sponsors, one of my normal sponsors, audio books. Now, that kind I talk about that, all the time is that in a very busy weld in what way the world has changed. people don’t have to quiet time to sit down and read a book and even when they do, there’s. Distractions everywhere. So you don’t audio books are a great convenience in that way driving in our concept of podcast. Is it not a commercial radio books? Now denial sponsor of this particular episode Right we do I. Oh, I do because they. They’re very good sponsoring I, and I’m very well to them and nail very left to me saw. But it along with this idea of reading being lost I, think introspection and I think introspection is necessary for what you’re talking about in the and looking at the our life and and making changes if necessary introspection is something that’s necessary for that, I, think that’s kind of a lost. There are a lot of people who never really look at their lives the as I mentioned the kind of just going through the motion that get up every day go to work in through the same thing. Again, and then they’re going to, and from that standpoint, they’re going to get the same results over and over again, right? Whatever you’re focusing your thoughts and your energy on most often than that’s what’s GonNa show up in your life, and if that’s straits, that’s overwhelming. That’s anxiety might be valid and rightfully. So based on your life up until this moment, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s serving you. So what are your? What are your options through started chased taking that same amount of energy and focus and really putting it towards creating a light. Light that you want as opposed to staring at the life that you don’t want. Right. So how do you encourage that? If some people can notice I, notice that I’m unhappy in life and I noticed that I’m frustrated or or just not not nothing’s really happening for me and I’m and they notice them just going through. But how do you encourage that introspection somebody? WHO’s to say why? Why you know what? What is it? What is it really? That’s making happy what he really frustrated about, what are you? What are you really want? And the ad to your point, it’s it is really about being curious. It’s about asking those questions that the cool thing about coaching is it’s not coming in and saying, Hey, I’ve lived a perfect life you everything. I’ve done. You’re going to have a perfect life. It’s more saying, Hey, you have the answers within your just blocked by fears and your blocked by limiting beliefs and your blocked by your past experiences you’re blocked by you know things your mother might have told you years ago knows.
00:20:07 – 00:25:15
But. When and because you’re block, you’re not thinking to ask yourself questions like what do I want who I want to be? How could I bring that about a more efficient manner? Instead, you’re thinking about, why is this happening to me? Why don’t I have what I want? Why does my life suck in this way why you know you you call with all the different reasons and then when you ask those questions of your mind, it comes up with answers well at let my life sucks because this and this, you know what I mean. Moved, asking yourself. You know I’m that’s what a coach does. They’ll ask important questions that help you look at things from an angle that you wouldn’t have looked at on your own because you’ve already been in this pattern, this path of where you are that, which leads you to where you are today. It fear part of a because I, get comfortable in my life, and if I examined it too closely, I might find out that I have to make some changes that are really going to be used changes in my life meaning cutting some people out people out of my life. And bringing New People into my life and all that kind of stuff. So people fear that holds people back from doing look at. Yeah, and my opinion fear is is really it’s all root of fear. So fears they, they absolutely answered. Yes, it’s fear what people think it’s really what it all almost always comes down to hear what other people think right in your example of fear of cutting people out. While if you’ve already decided that these people who I’ve spent the last fifteen years hanging. Hanging. Around whatever aren’t really serving, I want to be now and know that I’m ready for some change percent growth and these puppies are Anorak and keeping them around. Why would you do that? Right? It would be fear because you don’t want to offend them. You don’t WanNa hurt the field you want them to sail. This person doesn’t care about our relationship, but in the grand scheme of things if you didn’t care at all about what anyone anywhere else on the entire planet thought ever. What would be different about your life? Aren’t the most important question. You can ask because once you if you’re able to block all that out and just be you and remind yourself what that is every single day. And then re and step into it with intention with purpose with gratitude for the outcome that you’re seeking you really can’t go wrong. Right. Gratitude is the major major department and I think a lot of we forget to eat. I, tell myself that all the time be grateful for for everything. That’s good in my life, and I had to do it every single day, but it’s IT’S A. It’s a, it’s a work. It’s a choice. It takes effort. It takes practice. It takes discipline and all that kind of stuff that I’m not necessarily Y-. Right now, now used to and really not conditioned to be a very disciplined person. and. That’s when it comes down to making that decision though, right. Gratitude. Just as a quick example, there’s so many times. If you’re anyone out there interested in maybe Kinda what, what’s the way that I can admiral gratitude my leg, know to your points I’m not sure how often I I’m sure I could do it more right around. There’s times when we’re in the shower times when we’re in the car, there’s times when we’re doing mundane things and at that point, if you realize what am I thinking about I’m thinking about something that has nothing to do with anything or is not serving my life in any capacity or even worse as actually being you know a detriment to my life. Instead you recognize these thoughts that are not serving a purpose to make a moment. Hey, aboard if the the concept comes to you that I’m bored, that’s a great time to think about gratitude. For, and even if it comes down to gravity sunlight oxygen like these are things are literally here so that you can exist. You wouldn’t. Knowing that today’s a gift because those things exist. It’s up to us to decide what we want to do with it and. There’s some responsibility for their us to do something as well. I am grateful for gravity I. Definitely Am I. Don’t I. Don’t want float off the planet. Again. But I practice it every morning just getting out of bed that I I’m grateful for that I can get. Worse at this age, had it the safest a miracle and You know I was interviewed by BBC a week ago and it was about midlife crisis and I started having those twenty. Another one at thirty every time everytime zero came up I. I turned sixty and I realized, Hey, wait a minute. You never expected to live this long bat something to set. Then that’s something to celebrate, and then all of a sudden getting older as of questions and it’s going to happen to everybody we’d realize that, but it wasn’t something to fear anymore something to kind of be grateful for that I. Hey, look I’m I’m older than I thought ever thought I was I’m still alive and. And still having fun I’m still enjoying my life I. Really Need to be grateful for everything that’s going on and that I have a family and have a roof over my head, and I’m not alone in well little things like that. It’s a are not little things they use linked to be grateful for, but again, they they do you have to I, adopt that mindset. It will go again mindset of gratitude. So I’M All the difference in the world. When you start on the biggest shifts, ever had my life was the realization, and this can be weird for people who had traumatic experiences many of us including myself have But when you really go into the mindset and the awareness that life is happening for you and not to you, your whole life will change.
00:25:16 – 00:30:01
If, you’re constantly thinking that life is happening to me or this happened to me. That’s happening to me that everything’s going on your at the effect of life and your at the effect of everything is outside of you. But when you realize life is happening for me and you step in no matter what is going on? You say, okay, this is happening for me. I don’t know why that would happen, but if but it is lance, no, that’s a fact of We’ll say quantum physics science that this is happening for me. Why would that happen? What can I do that right? And when you get curious and start using asking that question, your brain says, I don’t know why would this happen for? You lies for it. You start to come up with reasons and ability to take action towards how serve you. Well, I don’t WanNa go down a crazy rabbit hole here. But I’ve been wanting to have quantum physicists on on the program for a long time, can’t get them, but I’ve had a lot. I had a guy, I had a guy who wrote a book quantum bigfoot and then. A basically claim that. Pay I’m bound the rabbit hole already Except, basically, he was his claim with at bigfoot was not behind us on the evolutionary chain that he was way ahead of us and that he could, you know transport himself, Fu parallel universes and all this kind of stuff. So I had him on and posted some of his stuff and then add another guy who saw that post and wanted to comment on a more about physics, and so this idea of you know different dimensions and all that kind of stuff. I’m fascinated by. But when it gets really you know rabbit hole and all as I asked a guy yesterday said, is there anything ’cause? BIGFOOT is part of UFO’s either mine reader. He can be time travel at all about. Anything in this, you won’t accept like you won’t. You’re Kinda. Reject Outright, he’s a No. In the grand scheme things a quantum physics managed like limitless literally unlimited. Right anything anything’s possible and I get I get that. But you know when when when it comes to the Easter Bunny I rejected it hurts it hurts. I don’t believe in Easter Bunny, I’m Bob sticking to that. Right. So this idea of life coach I’ve, Oh, I’ve always had. Really issue with the the word nasty nasty profession. What, but the word from a coach conjures up Every coach I ever had was a heart s football coach baseball, whatever they met like they had to be. Catholic. So, whenever I hear life coach, that’s what I’m expecting. I’m going to go through with China, make some changes with a coach So does that is that common or am I alone in that? That makes sense based on your experience. Anytime coast. That’s the type of human being they were right. INC were an a new space. I, think there are certainly some life coaches like that as well by the way, and so you certainly may find somebody that nephew founded this worse for. You could find someone that would probably coach you that way. But I think you might pick up that I’m not that type of coach at all like I’m really just more about being here. Now, getting clear on who you want to be and what’s keeping you from doing that. I will ask you some powerful important questions and I will leave you hold you accountable for answering them. I wanted to ask you what did the modality that you actually work in? So it’s mostly asking questions and mobbing people do the central for introspective work on themselves and you bay find the answers you just keep pushing for the questions totally because it’s. So here’s the thing I work with a client like I have their agenda. That is the only thing that is the important in our time. Together is your agenda as a client. Right? Saw Him focused on that all the time. So you tell me that I. Want to make this axiom. I don’t like to use physical things, but it just I think mine, I wanted to run a marathon never have before. So. I’m not necessarily going to be the person. Okay. Let’s let’s do fifty push-ups. Today said and mild tomorrow at afraid of yeah. Yes. Not Bad. So tell me, why do you WANNA win? You know why do want to run a marathon? More. Healthy. Cool. So let’s talk about that. You’re I mean. So it’s like getting into. So why is this important and is that the only way for you to be healthy or and we start and then I will. Okay. Cool. Now that we’ve we’ve figured out, this is definitely that you WanNa? Do I heard? You say that we couldn’t ask you all the questions rather winning other directions that are questioning. Took you. So it in the end, we agreed that you WanNa be you wanna run this marathon. Then, we will start taking action steps rights. Okay. So between now and next week, you’re going to do X. Y. Z. and typically I as not as a non marathon runner. I’m not gonNA, give you advice on that his untruths. Okay. So what are the steps? And they will give me some suggestions or some thoughts or and then maybe we’ll some directions for them to gain insight. And then the following week I’ll say, okay, did you do what you said you’re going to do again making all this much smaller than it is and they might say, yes, this then the other thing. But then I did on this day because I was upset about this and we might not even talk about the marathon.
00:30:01 – 00:35:11
You know now we’re gonNA, focus on why you’re upset about this. Who could you have been instead in that moment? How was feeling stressed or overwhelmed serving your purpose of running a marathon or whatever it is that you want to do. And when people start to understand that they have a choice in every single moment to decide who they want to be. whether it’s you know even the case that someone doesn’t run a marathon, there’s a difference between like, Hey, I really WanNa do this and accepting every once in a while, you need a rest. If I ran three hundred days and three hundred, one days took a day off to be with my family will maybe part of my goals also be a better husband better father better whatever, and so that’s art of your journey as well. Right. So I’m not the older nothing guy on the hey, who do you want to be? Be As often as possible and and so it you don’t need any necessarily expertise in anything. Any specific field of study to help somebody. WHO’s say I’m in creative arts and I WANNA be a better actor. You don’t necessarily need to know anything about acting to help them achieve that goal, correct. Yeah. In fact, the coolest lessons learned during my coach training was the only thing I really need to be an expert on is the coaching process. Right? The ability to really connect with be present and help people see the. The truth, and uncover I actually has worked with a client recently, and she said like Ryan, she’s twenty five years old. She just bought her first house. She was out I. Guess like kind of figuring out the landscape and she’s crying apparent. There’s this thing called pruning and I was like, yes, boonies, she’s like we have this Rhododendron and I went out there and I was told to do it. I was like clipping off all these dead, all these dead leaves branches that were serving it anymore, and I could see the. The flowers underneath that just weren’t getting. The Sunday weren’t getting. Now’s able to kind of freedom and as I was doing this, this is what I’d do with. Ryan. And so it is a sense of like there’s all sorts of stuff in our life that has grown over time at one point at my have served us. But now it’s kind of keeping other stuff out there. So frigging click away and really see is not that I’m creating new flowers within as much as we’re just shining a light on the are exist. Yet yourself, quota So your book is called Ad i WanNa talk about the first part depressed part of the title, which is be patient, and I think that’s A. Way My, what I’m doing now in podcasting I’m seeing a lot of people who just can’t grasp that concept of May get into podcasting. Thinking I’m GonNa make money from doing. Right. And they look at Joe Rogan signed a hundred million dollar deal, and whereas my hundred million dollars, I’m I’m on the show. But not really realizing that he’s done it for eleven years now, and it’s I two hundred shows totally sucked, and he had to build that audience all at time and. The reason he got that with because he kept getting better, it wasn’t his goal to make one, hundred, million dollars. So I keep coming back to that. You know, I, said, before getting famous was a weird just goal to happy. So getting rich seems to be also, but the patience to start a new path in your life start something new and be patient for. With yourself and for for the whatever it is a practice that you’re doing, whatever you get involved in to really grow and flourish in its own at its own pace and not be too hard on yourself. Not give up too easily and all that kind of stuff. So talk a little bit about the important of patients and how people develop that. Mentally, it’s really one of the most patient. Most important things there is because that’s really a challenge and often the cause of stress, right? So there’s fear but other people think and even if it comes down to it, all I’m not I’m not successful enough fast enough. Why does it bother you? You while other people are gonNA. Think I suck. Right. Had some level back fear of what someone else somewhere else thinks Ryan’s so patience like listen. It’s not happening fast enough I’m not where I want to be now. So now you’re actually ruining the time you have now with worrying upset that it’s not happening, right? Right, and so then people say, well, Ryan be patient I don just sit around and do nothing and wait for it to happen. Cool I’m I’m not suggesting that in the slightest quite quite the opposite. It’s more about how you physically and emotionally and mentally behave while you’re waiting or taking action right? Because the impatience actually real quarterback. The prologue of book you know you mentioned the first chapters be patient. The prologue just goes into concepts that we are all creators. A you are creator and everything you’re doing. You’re creating something right now, you and I are creating two men recording awesome podcast, right. Wake up in the morning. If you put on Blue Sox blue pants, blue shirt, a blue hat, you’re creating a man dressed in blue. Jelly on to piece of Bedford to getting you’re creating Peter burge sandwich crab not obvious. But we’re always create even if you’re sleeping, you’re creating a human being who sleeping, right? So we’re always creating something. And so when you’re stressed when your anxiety you are creating stress, you’re creating anxiety. When you’re angry, you’re creating anger. We also create laughter. We create businesses, we create art, but we create frustration and we also create impatience. and. So this brings it back to chapter one. So at at any point, if you’re feeling stressed typically Lotta time, it’s going to because you’re you’re concerned, there’s not enough time to get something done the even bring it down to the basic concept of sitting in traffic and being annoyed that I’m late for.
00:35:11 – 00:40:04
Sunday. Because I’m in traffic and there’s nothing I can do with it. You’re sitting there creating anger and frustration because you’re late for something. As, opposed to. So at that point, you can recognize how my your point earlier, how am I feeling? What is my body telling you right now, it’s telling you that I am not happy why not happy while I’m not happy because I’m not there. Wherever that is like that I’m late for summer, and so in that moment, you could say, okay, well out of curiosity, what would it be like to create a person? WHO’s patient? How a patient per like forget that I’m laid? Forget what I’m late four forget who’s there forget what’s going to happen. But just in that moment to decide what would it be to create a person? WHO’s patient? How would a person pace of patient person behavior in this moment? and. If you think about it and practice it even if for just a minute doesn’t have to be all day every day. But if you practice that as as as an awareness that can create patients, you get used to it. Become something that happens more often than not. the other thing in most cases of patients, and again, I’ll use the baker basic example sitting in traffic because so many people have done it. Nine and a half times out of ten. You’ve been stressed or worried about being late for something, and then you got their ten minutes half hour late. Whatever it is, didn’t make any difference whatsoever, and we spent forty minutes in your car being late until you got there, and then you show and your buddy was laid to or oh, Hey, man, we didn’t even notice. Whatever, it’s not a big deal, and so it’s really a waste of life. Right. Right. It. Definitely, a can’t can we inherit impatience as because I think I, I mow up to belief that my father gave me this and I agree that it. It’s like I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if I’m not there in time that kind of attitude. But I think I inherited it from him for. Giving me the always being like you gotta get the. What is it? If that is that something that we can enhance? Inherit. But doesn’t mean something we have to keep. So. Yeah. You are. You know going back to, you are exactly who should be for every single second of life they lived up until this moment. I WANNA get into that that. That of the next part of be present. But just con because I’ve been working on this patience I idea my whole life. Yeah. Biggest one for me and you mentioned traffic is getting to the GIG. A musician get him to the GIG on time and the fear that drives that impatience is I don’t WanNa, be on stage and have people waiting for me to get my stuff set up So I don’t. Don’t want I know right. I want to be there early enough. So that crowd doesn’t see me setting up and now I’m thinking they’re going to be watching me setting up I, hate that feeling and like I gotta get there before them. So that’s something I have I’ve been working on for the last several years of when I in getting going to Gigs San, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. You know then that really watching you get on your head. What others think right in your and scheming things, all comes down to it some capacity whereas if you showed up where you know whoever your favorite musician was, if they showed up to the same same GIG and they were getting on the stage, Getting Ready, people wouldn’t be annoyed like, Oh, my gosh. I. Can’t believe that I, get to hang out and watch this guy set up. Right? Right. Right. You get to decide that. SORTA next. Quick, I just WANNA touch on itself. If patients in particular, you feel like possibly something I got from my dad. had been working on I. Definitely Am also quantum physics by the way I recommend book I guy named Dr Joe Dias Benza. and the name of the book is called breaking the habit of being yourself. while. Brinson. The habit of being self. Okay. We’ll make a note right away. Check out any doctor Jota spends the videos on Youtube I’m the guy changed my life. So definitely, two thumbs way up. Okay. Cool. Thank you for that Yeah, I. Think a big part of you know is is of my life, is that at feeling I inherited stuff in the other part I wanted to mention about you mentioned I. Forget what you said exactly, but you were talking about. Now anger one, but you said noticing what? What’s going on with the I? Think anger is the one where I can’t. I can’t get a grasp on mindfulness because anger. I’m really thinking extreme anger where it becomes rage when you lose your temper. Baton mindfulness that ability to state tastes say step back. That’s something. Yeah. We can. We can rationally say now when we’re not angry, but in that moment when wh when we’re just full of rage. And having a conversation with the and say, hold on what are you feeling now? Have you get at? That’s like seemed almost impossible I. Know I know as we mentioned ones visit nothing is impossible. It’s so difficult that it feels imposture talk to me a little bit about how you kind of switch gears or a change, your mindset in that position couple of different things. So one First of all, it’s Completely, understandable that that feels like you’re stuck in this thing, something just happened.
00:40:04 – 00:45:03
You are again reacting to life and all the sudden. All this stuff has come up. So the first thing that I would say is not necessary to actually let me dial it back. First of all is it is a practice, right? So how do we? How do we even do a feels like it’s impossible like anything else? It becomes a practice. So how do you start practicing? from my experience. The best way to start practicing relieving anger and rage or in a stressful situation where you’re racking something legitimately that just happened. is to not necessarily worry about. Fixing it immediately, but just recognizing how long am I going to stay. Angry. Like how long do I literally want to stay in this? Okay. So your reaction was there to your point, something happened I, reacted to it, and here I am and I’m I’m limited an wooden. We can get into another time whether it’s valid or not. Right? How long we want, but once you realize. Five minutes later, I’m still angry. But later, I’m still angry twenty minutes later, I’m still angry what the Heck it happen twenty minutes ago. What what are you doing now? Are you spending focused on what happened? And again, it’s a practice and that that’s common and normal for people to to go through anger. Any special anybody you know I know in my on the ways. I’ve kind of worked on the specifically was in the early years of my marriage. I would find I get a disagreement with my wife. But how long do I want to be in a disagreement with my wife? One to two hours? Three days being angry at her the person I live with and and raising a family with? No, I want this to be over soon as possible Donna angry because I want to be right or do WANNA be happy. Even things. Choosing happiness you start choosing joy and you start doing that. As soon, as you know two or think to or practice to the time between the event occurring, and when you make that moment to switch will get shorter and shorter and shorter. It’s like anybody who’s quit smoking in the past. When you first start quitting smoking a sudden, you have. You have a nick like every five minutes, and that feels like it’s GonNa, last an hour. And then eventually, the longer you go the longer like, okay. Was this along. It lasted shorter amount of time, and so it’s very similar to that in the space that you start having more control because you know on the other side of it is freedom and. Comfort well, that question you just asked I should probably have that imprinted on the inside of my glasses. You want to be righted. You want to be happy because that’s what it really comes down to. I. WanNa be right most of the time and giving that up giving that up for the sake of happiness is a rational decision, but a, it’s one. You know I don’t ask myself enough because he could let go you do have the power to let go of your annual. it’s not impossible and again this time, not necessarily in the case of fear, but it is being concerned about with someone else thinks my right. No, I’m telling you that I’m right whether telling you. You’re not right and so you’re gonNA sit there and be angry or whatever or stress that they need to know that you’re right as opposed to listen if this person thinks that the world. World is flat. I’m not gonNA, sit there and yell at them and tell them that it’s round as much as I like, hey, based on your life up until now, it makes perfect. Sense of you feel that way I am going to experience the way that I’m enjoying it right now. Are you did you catch the first episode of this program? Is that what you brought up the planet? That was extremely frustrating. I. Two five Flat Earth guys on in the first week of my podcast back when I started whenever and boy was that a frustrating. The Okay. The next part of it. Yeah, it’s called be present. Yeah. I say and I wrote a song about living in the moment and there’s a line in there. I, say, yes. yesterday is gone. Tomorrow might never come is it is it that simple is realizing that yesterday’s gone? You can’t do anything about it to my tomorrows and promised here. So China live in the moment today. In. The moment you’re in right now hugely, and once you get used to that, it’s really even deeper to wear like a minute ago has gone right minute from now is not even promised, right? Literally winning. So we talked about being present on again. People are stressed overwhelmed. They’re thinking about some that’s going to happen in the future. Maybe some that did two weeks ago or something. I said a month ago or somewhere someone somewhere else is thinking about me. It’s everywhere else. Right. But if you literally are feeling stressor over on any of those things. And that’s why the book within an orders like okay I create someone rose creating chapter one be patient traits impatience now that you’re not waiting to happen in the future, just be here. Now, you’re not worried about anything happened in the past either like lily take a moment to if you’re feeling overwhelmed to say. Okay. So how does how how can I create a person? Who is present? What does a person who is present feel like and the answer is all they? They typically recognize what all five of their senses are doing. What am I smelling right now? What am I hearing right now? What can I see right now? Again, going back to oxygen gravity sunlight, all these things are here right now, there’s really only now. The past is just a lot of other. Now’s that we remember. And we think when back most the time we don’t ask member them. Accurately, we our brain. Our rain is decide to remember them a certain way. Serve our story right with her victim level story or champion’s story.
00:45:03 – 00:50:05
Whatever we decided is our food. So we’re constantly looking at causing looking at the password were creating a life based on that passed in an identity based on that path as opposed to. In the grand scheme of none of it matters who am I right now, who don’t want to be right now? Can I see? What can I feel? How can I create gratitude for this moment of existence because to be with you, it’s a miracle that I even live, and I’m like this weird thing of consciousness expressing itself through human. On Earth and twenty twenty, whatever it gets deep but. Really, WANNA comes down. You think of that. There’s only now who I want to be at anyone with your angry right or you’re late or any of these different things. You’re still only here right now. In anger and lady, and all these different things are all just perspective that were were choosing to follow as opposed to decide listen right now, I can be grateful for this now, and that will actually physically calm your body and your you know your mind will. Change the chemical makeup of your body when you. Present start to be more. Grateful. Well as we’re having this conversation, I’m thinking to myself up feeling like a little bit of a hypocrite because this is something that I talked to my wife about all the time and I feel like I struggled with it myself. While we the not just the the not living in the past, but not living in the future and I think the biggest example that I can think. Think of is difficult conversations. You know you can have a difficult conversation and you run through that conversation ten times in your mind with different outcomes, each time, and how we go and mckernan deaths, right? Lavin’s right and and so all that ten minutes I kind of how or however long I spent time. Think Pre thinking how that conversation going. That’s time I losing I can never. Never get back again and it’s wasted time because the conversation may not go that way whatsoever rearing right and But my wife has this tend to think of every possible scenario before it happens. No matter what had happened. What if this happens and what if that happens and I’m always saying tour? You know don’t over think this stuff and you don’t you’re open thing but I, just. Just. Kind of realizing what a hypocrite I am in that because I am very guilty of especially when it comes to difficult conversations, which is why I brought that up is like I’m always thinking of what am I going to say when he says this one I say when she says that that kind of stuff a contriving crazy and it’s wasted time wasted energy Into woman. Katie. What Kita, Lou the net? Yes. Absolutely, like anything else. So first of all patients presence, but in all those things practice like just becoming the the big to your, your wife’s that she’s always prepared almost for the worse. She’s almost like preparing for a worst case scenario, right so that she will be prepared for it and the grand scheme of things. If that’s what you’re looking at a life that that’s what life is going to become preparing for the worst case scenario. All of us do that, right? It’s part, of human, nature. So. The is funny. When you say difficult conversation, the first thing comes up to me is the practice of volmer ability. because that is a place where with practice like going to the gym, it’s like it feels really weird I don’t WanNa do it. I’m tired of lasting on, do go and get her physically exerted or whatever vulnerability is the same way. But once you are there at the gym working out once you’re there in the conversation, you’re just flat out honest without any aggression towards the person or defensiveness towards yourself much just like being present with with the person. Removing energy from it or or creating energy around that is the win win. How can I serve you and me as human beings? It’s not about being right. It’s about. Being honest and being truthful and having my perspective heard and listening to yours right anything. Would those things when you sold the more often you are vulnerable whether you like it or not the more. It becomes part of who you are and the more those conversations become, and by the way a binomial everyone and say, Oh, I, don’t I don’t dread uncomfortable conversations. I run to them getting I get that all the time I said I’ve been there. I would just say that that’s what I do to prepare for them as I really like here’s my attention like it’s not about. WORSE THAN I? Am It’s really just about having the truth be shown, and as you know as clearly as possible being bowl as vulnerable as possible. So they understand where I’m coming from and they may or may not wear, Matt, it’s my job to meet them where they’re at meet myself where I’m at and move forward from there. But I don’t thing I hate most is when I know there has to be a tough conversation in somebody schedules it for two weeks from now and it’s like. I I really would like to have this now and get it over with because we’ve scheduled for two weeks from now, the next two weeks, he’s going to be a waste of my life because I’m going to be having it whether you’re in it with me. Not knowing that though there’s an opportunity for mutual most practice that it’s okay. So who I want to be like, how can I next time that happened like? Okay, here’s a challenge. Here’s an opportunity for growth or me to decide who I want to be over the next two weeks, and instead of preparing for the worst case if they say this, whatever they say this to. To spend all of your time and focusing preparing for the best case scenario and make like in your mind from a quantum level.
00:50:05 – 00:55:01
I’m really being grateful for this outcome that I want and putting my intention towards the outcome that I want that serves you know the greatest good for all You know it. There’s at least going to be less than there after two weeks. Right. Because your point, you didn’t wait two weeks being angrier. stressed. You are created two. Of intention and purpose, and enjoy and then. Say You did all that for two weeks and the conversation was still crappy was was the worst case scenario at least you didn’t spend two weeks thinking that, and then at the end of it, it’s your and there’s a new. Now you decide who you want to be moving forward with the information you now have I. Write about all the stuff and I. I, keep coming back to what you said before in the in The idea that It’s always about what somebody thinks. We’re talking with somebody on the thanks to you. I had one guest on this program, a guy named. Jerry Brasi who said? In. Blunt language I don’t give. What anybody thinks and I think that’s easy to say because, I, I’ve said it in the past about my life, but it’s not easy to to it. It’s a simple thing, but it’s not easy to to Pat Mindset. And because you’ve spent thirty five to sixty years being you know certain way right? Amir in anis-ur mindset and being trained to care what people think rather was, we certainly don’t want to be discourteous. We don’t want to be mean or aggressive or harm people, right. The like there’s like this thin line between carrying what someone else. Thanks, but also not harming someone. But if they’re harming themselves based on your behavior that has anything to do with you and nothing to do with them. In fact one of the coolest lessons I, also learned was, it’s really none of my business. What anyone else thinks because let? Me Right. Thing to do with them. Rony start stepping into that you start appreciating life of the life that we have becomes pretty powerful. The last part of it is be joyful and my thought on this is debts almost something that if you if you embraced, I, two veterans come to the natural byproduct and you don’t even really have to put any real thought his book. There’s a line in the book that just says sometimes, if you’re patient and president, joy will just sneak up. In the rind you. It’d be there anyway. Right. If You mastered the first two, the third one come to the natural byproduct they thing. Yeah. And if you create gratitude for joy or recreate gratitude for patients and presence was what happens joy kind of sneaks in there? And so it’s actually joy the to your point ashes. The short chapter in the book is is be joyful because it’s a pointed and it’s just like, Hey, listen doesn’t have to be super rainbows and Unicorns all day every day, but it can be create more joy than I had a minute ago like you know who is something that makes me happy. What does the memory that that that is a positive experience? What is something that you know who somebody to love unconditionally whatever their things in life that make us happy. So always an opportunity. Create a person who is joyful who creates joy and wants others to do the same, and it’s very cliche. In my life, the thing that creates delayed the malls and I think it would probably be true for everybody and I can’t say that it is. But I, think it would probably be is giving when I whenever I in a really bad mental state doing something for somebody else. Yeah. It’s always my way out and it’s it’s been my way out my whole life for the last ten. Ten years, it’s been dealing nursing homes and and volunteering in there, and and giving shows to people who basically can’t leave the room in going and doing out musical performance him and that kind of stuff. But you know jested to do something for somebody, else will change your attitude about your whole life and what’s troubling you and makes you troublesome a lot small batches, my perspective. Now, it in two things come from one eldest plant. The seed is like so those moments when you’re having trouble getting past stress or anger, how can use that awareness? Maybe to the people you served in the past like they’re really I’m really angry right now having trouble letting go of it, create some gratitude for that. You. You have given a know that you’re making difference in York. MEAN is. What you just express love like you’re you’re creating love by giving to others. and then the second thing that will point out quickly also for people out there. You know if you’re having a stressful moment, send tax to someone that you love just telling that you appreciate them. And this is not a poor man. I, had a tough day and I i. just you know thank you for always being and you can’t do that. If you want to say, don’t do that. But as much as point in this exercise is really just to create gratitude for someone else. So they feel heard they feel loved they feel acknowledged own, do that we? We start to again create elevated motions within ourselves that that can service great stuff. So I’M GONNA put the at because most of the audience is going to be in the podcasts at the audio side.
00:55:01 – 01:00:02
It’s the website is Ryan Stanley Dot Com. It’s a nice. He’s Dan will we’ll be in a description. Of course, are there any other links they should be pointing people? People to just that website you know Ryan stealing, Dot Com. Oh, my social links will be on there. You can find it. So again, the book title is be patient. Be Present, be joyful. First Aid Kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life You can find on Amazon, you find Barnes and nobles, and you if you buy it on Ryan, stealing? STEALING DOT COM, you’ll get a signed copy from me but to Matt earlier point, if you go to Ryan Stanley Dot Com slash free dash. E book is where you can download a free copy if you’re not interested in purchasing one wonderful stuff. So finally, I gotta ask you this question. I. Asked everybody in new. It’s like what does that have to do with the? Are you an optimist. I would say yes. The least okay that that’s generally the quickest and I’ve gotten from anybody on the program. People usually have to think about that. Well, my for what and you know for short term for my business for for the world all those kinds of things that come into play I generally mean for humanity and and all that kind of stuff and and so You know I I. Try to cultivate optimism It’s not an easy thing of being a realist and having a propensity towards pessimism. Optimism is, is something dislike the rest of this stuff that you have to press leftists and? The more you practice it the more you start to enjoy it. The more you start to enjoy. It does more. You start to realize that if you have a choice between optimism and pessimism or even you know what people call the middle of realism. Choose, optimism be joyful. Be here. Now, create the life you want for yourself and for others so that others have the opportunity to do the same. Not only. Are you know just so they can see it in you as well. Does it require turning afternoons and tuning advil will all of bad stuff or in my opinion absolutely haven’t watched the news and years maniac throughout my television to twelve years ago. Served. No purpose. I mean, there’s nothing I can’t find out from someone quickly easily that you know that I’m not going to get much worse version of on the news, right? Well, right I, really appreciate this time and I hope people will check out your book and and and come and visit yet Ryan Stanley. Dot Com and find out more about this stuff and our doesn’t seem long enough to really. By Right. but I think I’ve gotten some valuable information out of there and some insights into my again, I took the idea just coming away with the hypocrisy that I deal with my wife telling her these England and I realized you know what? I’d do that too it. It’s that was an insight for Mesa. I? Coach people to to look up in my reluctance to the life word life coach. Can I call you something else you? and. I. Just. Listen, I’m just a dude experiencing life. Sharing, sharing my experience with others. I don’t even have a problem with like guru or. You know spiritual dude or. Thousand. Coach I think coach Eddie coffin. who was a bad ass. He used to kick my ass in junior high schools. Andy, Kaufman. Eddie coffin realize like Oh like like. He actually He. He was a football player and went to Syracuse played a, he was a halfback. fullback when Jim Brown was a halfback and. Keeps University. Yeah. So he was a bad football player and and just had a really mean attitude on. Nasty L. Guys whenever I think a coach at that picture of up in my mind like I deal with coach coughing. Instead of coached, just professional optimist. Professional optimists So it’s been my pleasure to have you at, professional. Ryan Stanley on the program. Thank you for coming and we’ll. Keep. In. Touch. This episode is brought to you by put me in the story. Put me in the story creates personalized books for kids by taking bestselling children’s picture books and well up characters and allowing you to create personalized books that make your child star of the story alongside their favorite characters. Save twenty, five percent store wide when you click the link on mine dog TV, Dot Com and use the code. Save. Twenty. Five. Where else sponsored by the lovely, lovely, Asia, online Stopfel, modern, irresistible, and affordable women’s clothing. Never before has dressing yourself been so easy. Lovely is carefully curated selection of apparel accessories. Outerwear are always on Chandon available at the web best prices. Lovely is dedicated to delivering high quality clothing to women that will make them look and feel their best. They believe every woman has the right to dress well, and shouldn’t have to spend a lot to love how she looks. Make it easy to wear outfits. You love every day giving you the confidence to take on the world.
01:00:03 – 01:05:10
Lovely. Dot Com. Some fashion trends are now forty percents off dotting at just five, ninety nine. Get an extra eighteen percent off when you click the link on Mine Dog, TV DOT? com and use the code. J.. F. T. Eighteen. We’re also sponsored by vapor. DNA founded in two thousand, Thirteen vapor DNA is the premier online vape store offering an industry leading selection of electronic cigarettes, e liquids, and accessory. They’re friendly and knowledgeable customer service team is always ready to provide the best customer service experience to ensure you find what you’re looking for. They guarantee their products to be one hundred percent genuine and at the lowest possible price. There so confident in this election and customer service, they offer customers eight, forty, five day refund. Save twenty percent when you click a link on mine dog TV. DOT, com, and use the code or Ryan Q. Stanley again. You. Might take away from. that. Is this whole idea of of being introspective and enough to understand what you’re going through and say, Hey, wait a minute. I’m wasting my life by putting too much energy on what might be, what could be what about all that stuff, and again I feel like somewhat of a hypocrite because I know I still do it, but decide idea of practice makes perfect in the more practice you Damore you get better at it. The more you’ll enjoy it and I find that to be true in everything in my life. Life. When when ever I needed to learn something new is hard at first and the practice sucked, but the more I practice it the better. I got the more I enjoyed practicing it the more I enjoyed doing it. So that’s my big takeaway Hope you got something out of this I. Hope you’ll tell your friends about hope you come back, you subscribe to my youtube channels to ask. Go to mind, DOT COM on my mailing list and questioned the comments import PD. Until Tonight at eight PM. When I have jeff burned the page to Patriot Gangsta. American apple. TV. podcast thanks for coming in. Full. Shoe. Ben. You. Seem. So Can’t you see yet? Communications. The, and allows. Me, we had. A. Shot. thinking. Can and your. Thumb, across the room cancer. So. We. Does. John. saw. Can’t. Can’t. Shop. Camping? That should. Will. ooh. To. Say. So. Across the road. That’s. leaving. Clear. Oh.